Infinite MonkeysOr, maybe we do. Today, for the first time in my life, I was escorted off the campus of a customer.
Last month, we sold some software to a California quasi-governmental organization. It included 15 days of on- and off-site consulting and integration services, as well as 5 days of formal training. A fairly modest sale, all things considered, and one of literally dozens (probably over 100) that we have made in California over the last seven years. I attended the sales calls, on-site demonstrations, and even visited the organization last week to do an initial two-hour "kick off" and requirements gathering session.
Yesterday, I showed up for my first day of "real work". We were going to install the software on their servers, and deploy some test clients to a few workstations. When I arrived, I met with the project manager who would be handling the activity. Sitting in her cube, she nonchalantly said, "Oh, we're going to have to run a background check - is your name Rob or Robert?"
"Uh - Robb, with two b's. That's what's on my birth certificate."
Background checks had never been discussed, although there had been brief mention of a non-disclosure agreement, which I happily signed upon my arrival. Remember, I had already been on-site twice before, and participated in numerous sales calls. The subject had NEVER been disclosed, and we did not receive any paperwork during the sales process that indicated this would be necessary.
But I figured, they know my name, they know who I work for - they can go run a background check if they like. I suppose that's their perogative, as long as I don't have to sign anything. Later in the day, she again asked how I spelled my name, and for my birth date. It seemed that a Robert L. was in the Department of Justice "system" somewhere, and they wanted to use my birth-date to verify that I wasn't THAT Robert L. Okay, fine. My birth-date is hardly confidential information.
Somewhere during this process, I quipped that "I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." Nobody laughed. I guess these folks weren't fans of the Man in Black. No matter, we proceeded with our work.
I arrived at noon for my second day of work, and since many of the team were in meetings, I spent some time in one person's cube making phone calls about other client work. Soon, one of the folks got out of the meeting and took me to the computer room to install some service packs that I had downloaded the night before. When we returned, I was informed that I'd have to "go upstairs" and do my "interview" for the background check. Say what?
Again, I was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt until they crossed the line. And that they did. As I sat in the interview room, the smiling fellow conducting my interview started picking out stacks of paperwork that I was going to have to fill out. I read every word. Most of the time, they were asking for stuff they really already knew - birthday, address, business address, etc. The asked for a copy of my driver's license. Hmmm. Okay, this is not really kosher, but I'll keep playing. Then, one of the pages of my interview document asked me for names and birth-dates of everyone in my family. Excuse me?
So I tell the grinning gentleman that I'm not going to give them the names and birth-dates of my family. He says, "okay just put your own right there". Fine. At which point he asks me for my social security number, and tells me they're going to fingerprint me. WTF???
"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to give you my social security number. You don't need it. And I'm not going to let you fingerprint me, either." At this point, happy guy decides I'm going to be some sort of problem, and he steps out to get his manager. Serious manager comes in and tells me that he understands that I refuse to submit to fingerprinting, etc. I say, very courteously, "That's correct," at which point he informs me that if that's the case, I'm not going to be able to perform work here.
I was there to install software. Systems management software. I was like the guy who puts the stereo in your car after you pay for it at Best Buy. Except I know what I'm doing, which is not always the case at Best Buy. I offered to be accompanied everywhere I went, and explained that I was only going to be on-site another 10-15 days, spread out over a few months. But it was non-negotiable. So, they escorted me outside the locked glass doors, and I drove to the airport to go home.
Fortunately, I have business partners that understand where I'm coming from. They both agreed that they would have done the same thing, and were astounded that the requirement for a background check was not disclosed earlier.
But the people who worked for the customer were not so understanding. Seriously, they looked at me like I was a child molester or a serial killer. "What has this guy got to hide, that he won't submit to the anal probe and have the number of the beast tattooed on his forehead?" was the look in their eyes. Further, it was like nobody had ever refused to have this done before. I was, frankly, stunned.
I was stunned, and disappointed, that this is not a more frequent occurrence. Not the background check, but the refusal to take the background check. How do companies fill their employee rosters with people willing to have their entire lives groped just for the privilege of working?
It's hard to say why other people do it, but I'm not playing.
Posted by RobbL at January 23, 2004 09:45 PM | TrackBack