Infinite Monkeys

Say it ain't so....

So, should we even care that Barry Bonds and other athletes were juiced up on steroids and human growth hormones? Is it even a surprise? Is this something the government should even be using precious resources on? How i it going to make my better or safer or whatever because the government arrested some dudes who juicing up professional athletes? somebody give me a real reason why this even matters.

Anyhow, Barry Bonds is fucked. I'll tell you why: John Ashcroft is insane. I shouldn't even be writing this, because he'll come after me just to make an example out of me. But nonetheless, Ashcroft is gonna nail Barry Bonds' testicles to the wall. if I'm Barry's lawyer, I tell him say nothing. Don't deny, don't anything. Because whatever you say, Ahscroft is gonna use it against you. If Barry Bonds denies publicly that he used steriods, Ashcroft will come up with some sort of charge. If Barry Bonds comes clean and admits he used steroids, Ashcroft will charge him with something.

But all things said, no matter what Barry Bonds does, Ashcroft is gonna charge him with something. Because Ashcroft is an insane bible thumper with a thirst for vengeance.