Infinite Monkeys

Brilliantly put.

i appreciate good writing and incisive wit and ideas. you hit the nail on the head in both categories, creating a sort of mantra that is hard-hitting because so concise and obviously true. let's get out the vote for george w!

i appreciate good writing and incisive wit and ideas. you hit the nail on the head in both categories, creating a sort of mantra that is hard-hitting because so concise and obviously true. let's get out the vote for george w!

Well put. Mine was much shorter.

Why no Kerry? "Talk is cheap."

Why yes for Bush? "Actions speak louder than words."

Jeez, Kerry sounds like a communist "sleeper" agent put in place by the KGB in a cold-war spy thriller.

I'm not being a dick, I'm dead serious on this. If I was a tin-foil hat type, I'd have to consider this as a possibility.

In reality, however, Kerry is just a plain old lefty twit.

I am voting for Bush because I think that the judges he will probably appoint to the Supreme Court have a better view of my economic and physical ability to have a baby than I do.

I am voting for Bush because, ignoring the fact that America was attacked by terrorists while Bush was in office, I don't think that America will be attacked by terrorists with Bush in office.

I am voting for Bush because I think that a president who had a C-Average in college best reflects the average intelligence of this country; and in fact makes many of us feel better about ourselves because we can proclaim, "Hey, I'm smarter than the President of the United States of America!"

I am voting for Bush because I think the judges he will appoint to the Supreme Court will respect that all Americans should BELIEVE IN GOD and all children should recite that our nation is UNDER GOD or ELSE!!

I am voting for Bush because a man who believes in the "sanctity of life" - despite having overseen the most executions of any governor in American history - is obviously Presidential material.

I think all African-Americans should vote for Bush because he took fifteen WHOLE MINUTES out of his busy four years in office to meet with the Congressional Black Caucus, after they, tired of their requests for a meeting being turned down, had a sit-in. Who cares if he was the first president since the 1930s to never have spoken at or attended an NAACP convention?

I am voting for Bush because any man that successfully convinces Americans their rights need to be limited or taken away, because any one of us (OHMIGOD, EVEN YOUR NEIGHBOR) could be a terrorist, OBVIOUSLY deserves to be President.

I am voting for Bush because his Presidency successfully sorted out which Americans are idiot far-left liberals (who ONLY want to spend MY money) by polarizing the country. They're the ones voting for that liberal Kerry. Phew, I'm safe now!!!

I am voting for Bush because he realizes that expecting employers to pay their employees more than $5.15 an hour ($4.75 after taxes) is outrageous! I mean, come on!

I am voting for Bush because ha, ha! He made me laugh a couple times in the debate!

I am voting for Bush because he supports a tax cut for the rich. And hell, according to the American Dream, we're all going to be part of the richest 1% someday, so I'd better protect my future tax cuts!

I am voting for Bush because he hasn't made a single mistake (besides some appointments, but we don't want to embarass anyone so we won't talk about that) in his entire Presidency. I mean, gosh, he said it himself...it must be true!

I am voting for Bush because he caught Saddam Hussein, a man who was not behind the attacks of 9/11.

I am voting for Bush even though he has failed to capture Osama Bin Laden, the man who was behind the attacks of 9/11.