Infinite Monkeys

God, Robb. You want me to dissect each one of these supposed "lies"? I'll take just one, the yellowcake nonsense.

Look, President Bush said in his 2003 State of the Union Address (I covered it for The Washington Times in a former life) this:

"The British Government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."

That was true then, and is true now. The Brits still believe that Saddam tried to get yellowcake from Niger. So what if a bumbling CIA, that never saw 9/11 coming and has missed every major political development of the last 50 years, says it has no independent way to verify the Brits' staunch claim. No wonder. We've been blind about Iraq for decades. I'll put more stock in the MI6 for certain regions in the world -- especially a former colony.

What is without dispute is that Saddam sent one of his nuclear envoys down to Niger on a "trade mission" in February 1999. Niger exports two things -- uranium and goats. I think Iraq has enough of their own goats.

Still don't believe me? Then go to the Annenburg Public Policy Center at Penn. They are hardly a nest of right-wing wackos, and they say I'm right and it was no "lie." That's not good enough? Try that known conservative propagandist Christopher Hitchens, who has covered this story better than anyone else on Earth.

The liar, proven time and again, in this whole fiasco is the arrogant, drunken lout, Joe Wilson.

Posted by: Dr. Zaius at August 1, 2007 05:02 PM

1. "You want me to dissect each one of these supposed 'lies'?"

If you feel the desire to defend this despicable administration and its unjust war, sure.

2. "I'll take just one, the yellowcake nonsense."

A couple of points here. First, I specifically linked to the "Fact and Fiction" article to show that it is an issue riddled with confusion, ineptitude, and - well, lies. From almost anyone involved in the debate. Wilson lied. Scooter Libby lied. All sorts of folks on the left and the right lied about the other side, what it all really meant, and how important it all is. And, of course, the original statement was used in support of an even bigger lie - that there was good and just reason for us to invade and occupy Iraq in 2003.

Second, I work in sales, so I know a thing or two about people who say things that are technically true while perpetrating a falsehood. The sales pitch on the Iraq war (before and after) is an excellent example of this. When the administration (and their shills) aren't lying outright, they are "selling" a perception by emphasizing specific items and excluding others from their dialogue, and they are attacking the "competition" in any way possible to maximize their ability to keep accumulating power and forwarding their agenda.

But ultimately, I tried to link to fairly obvious lies:

1. Pat Tillman is a hero (as opposed to an arrogant a-hole who possibly got fragged by his own teammates)
2. Jennifer Lynch is a hero (as opposed to someone in a bad situation who reacted like pretty much anyone would react)
3. There was an active WMD program in Iraq including stockpiles of weapons intended for use at any time
4. "Mission Accomplished" (another propaganda/marketing lie)
5. The insurgency is in its "last throes"
6. The Saddam/al Quaeda "connection"
7. The Iraq war will be a "cakewalk"
8. The Iraq war will pay for itself on oil revenues

Of course, there are plenty of other areas where the folks in Washington are lying, but the war-related lies have resulted in (among other things) thousands upon thousands of unnecessarily dead, injured, and traumatized souls.

Posted by: Monkey RobbL at August 2, 2007 05:08 PM

"The Iraq war will pay for itself on oil revenues."

Oh, man, if only. But that's what a competent imperial power would do. The real problem here is that the Bush administration believes its own nonsense about democracy and liberation. Had we concentrated on killing our enemies and cowing would-be enemies into submission, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Posted by: H.L. Monkey at August 2, 2007 08:05 PM

Actually, I agree with you on this, H.L. At least at an objective level. I suspect we disagree on whether or not America SHOULD be an imperial power (of course, I'm agin' it) but if you are going to be an empire, then BE A FRIGGIN' EMPIRE. Don't try to pretend you're in this for anyone's good but your own.

Like I said, lies. I suppose the biggest lies of all are the Wilsonian ones we tell our selves: We're the "good guys" and we're making the world safe for democracy.

Posted by: Monkey RobbL at August 2, 2007 08:28 PM

Ugh. We'll never, EVER, see eye-to-eye on the war, RobbL. And that's fine. Doesn't mean we can't still be Web Friends. And lively debate is what makes this blog so fun. The funny thing is I'm usually arguing with mindless liberals, not principled (purist?) libertarians. But let's not move the goalposts.

The only person lying about the "yellowcake" thing, which spring out of those 16 words, was Joe Wilson. That drunk and his lefty friends said, "See! Saddam did not get yellowcake from Niger!" Which was NOT what Bush said. He said the Brits believed he TRIED. And even when that obvious point was emphasized, the lefty nuts continued the lie by saying Saddam never tried. That is simply false.

As for the others ...

1. Pat Tillman is a hero (as opposed to an arrogant a-hole who possibly got fragged by his own teammates)

Yes. This proved false. The Pentagon, low-level flacks at first, portrayed him as a hero. Not the first time that's happened in a war. But he is still a hero as defined as a man who gave up a cushy life of luxury and fame as a professional athlete to fight for his country. That's still heroic in my book.

2. Jennifer Lynch is a hero (as opposed to someone in a bad situation who reacted like pretty much anyone would react)

It's Jessica Lynch, by the way. As I recall, it was the press who really pushed the "G.I. Jane" storyline with her because it fit so well with their feminist mythology about women in combat. I presume the Washington Post reporter who first wrote the stories was fed the information by (again) a low-level lackey. Or perhaps they made it up. But it was corrected very, very early in the game (by my former employer, the Washington Times, no less). That it has endured as a myth is more the fault of the liberal mythmakers. Lynch herself, by the way, has debunked the "heroine" story in every public appearance.

3. There was an active WMD program in Iraq including stockpiles of weapons intended for use at any time

Every intelligence agency in the Western World, and even some in friendly Middle Eastern countries, thought this was true. Hell, even Saddam thought it was true. He was being lied to by his own scientists. But Bush is the only one who is "lying" (rather than being mistaken, which is a very different thing)? Besides, he did have a WMD program, that was ready to restart after the UN backed down.

4. "Mission Accomplished" (another propaganda/marketing lie)

The infamous "Mission Accomplished" sign was for the crew of the USS Abraham Lincoln, which had accomplished its mission in the Iraq theater. And, in essence, with Saddam toppled, the initial goal of the war -- get rid of Saddam's dangerous regime -- was over. Would you have insisted that the US not claim victory in World War II until the Marshall Plan was over? This is just a silly thing to call a "lie." Petty, really.

5. The insurgency is in its "last throes"

Got me on that one. The Pentagon was about 18 months early on that. It certainly looks like the beginning of the death throes with the latest surge. We'll see. Still a stupid thing to say.

6. The Saddam/al Quaeda "connection"

Sigh. See here

7. The Iraq war will be a "cakewalk"

Don't know the exact pedigree of that statement, but the overthrow of Iraq certainly was one of the greatest cakewalks in military history. And the American military has accomplished quite a bit while losing but a percentage of the troops lost in a single battle in the Pacific Theater of WWII. Just sayin'.

8. The Iraq war will pay for itself on oil revenues

I'm with H.L. on this one. Wish it was true. Maybe we'll get some payback on the back end of this thing.

Posted by: Dr. Zaius at August 4, 2007 11:27 AM