Infinite MonkeysThe chaps over at Deputy Dog have a list of 13 of them. It's an amusing list, for sure, that rightly all but disqualifies Keanu Reeves' performance in "Bram Stoker's Dracula" from the list because, well, Canoe should not be called an actor.
It's hard to argue with the John Malcovich selection for his Russian accent in "Rounders." It's a great movie and Edward Norton's break-out role. But Malcovich's accents in all his movies are simply vaguely European or "Malcovichian."
Note how many Hollywood types have such trouble with Irish accents. Which reminds me of my main complaint/giggle about the great TV show, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Angelus, or Angel, is supposedly a 240-some-year-old vampire from Ireland. In flashbacks, David Boreanaz hilariously attempts a brogue, then just seems to give up completely by the fourth line or so. Why the brilliant Joss Whedon couldn't have just made Angel and American Vampire in Britain, I'll never know.
Other candidates for the worst fake accents in movie history? Post below.
Posted by Dr. Zaius at August 23, 2007 08:05 AMRob Morrow's Boston accent in "Quiz Show" is profoundly distracting.
But I think the Deputy Dog goes way overboard in his (their?) criticism. As many in the comments say, nobody expects Sean Connery to have anything but a Scottish accent. EVER. Also, if he thinks Dick Van Dyke and Don Cheadle aren't intentionally camping it up with their accents, he's just not paying attention. Finally, Shrek isn't supposed to be particularly Scottish, they just picked Meyers because his fake Scottish accent is so funny sounding, not for its accuracy.
Posted by: Monkey RobbL at August 23, 2007 06:08 PMHard to argue with that. I was especially puzzled by the Shrek complaint. Shrek doesn't live in Scotland, now does he?
But Sean Connery is a good actor. He could hide his accent if he wanted to and/or put on another accent. He's just too lazy. Fie on him. You'd never know that Cate Blanchett, or Guy Pierce or even Russell Crowe were Australian from their first break-out roles. And Renee Zellwegger does a great British accent in the Bridget Jones movies. Anyway ...
Other terrible fake accents that I've thought of:
Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider ... or just about anything she's been in when she doesn't play an American.
Nicole Kidman in Cold Mountain. A TERRIBLE Southern accent.
And what was up with Benicio Del Toro's accent in Traffic and The Usual Suspects. I know he's Puerto Rican and all, but he really needs to work on his English enunciation.
Posted by: Dr. Zaius at August 23, 2007 09:14 PMAnd, oh God! How can we forget Carrie Fisher's fake British accent for a couple of opening reels in Star Wars -- which was suddenly zapped into oblivion quicker than Alderaan.
Posted by: Dr. Zaius at August 23, 2007 09:17 PMDr. Zaius, I should have expected to find you holding Robb's leash. I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.
Posted by: Monkey Brad at August 23, 2007 11:35 PM:-)
Posted by: Dr. Zaius at August 24, 2007 07:06 AMIt's been too long since I saw Traffic to remember, but I thought Del Toro's mumbly mess of verbal affectation was loads of fun and, again, played for camp effect.
I don't know if putting Sean Connery in the same category as those other three is exactly fair...to him. Cate Blanchett, in particular, is one of those Serious Actors. Connery is more of a "rock star" - you imagine that he got into acting for the, um, "Galore" and would still admit that to this day.
Posted by: Monkey RobbL at August 24, 2007 08:08 AMClarification - the "mumbly mess of verbal affectation" I'm referring to is the one in "The Usual Suspects."
Posted by: Monkey RobbL at August 24, 2007 08:10 AMI imagine that would be the first postable review tagline if Infinite Monkeys had a podcast.
Posted by: Monkey Brad at August 24, 2007 12:44 PM