Infinite MonkeysThis is the way the world ends. No, not with a bang or a whimper, but with the rise of bionic monkeys.
According to Reuters, "Using only its brainpower, a monkey can direct a robotic arm to pluck a marshmallow from a skewer and stuff it into its mouth, researchers said on Wednesday."
Scientists claim their research could reap tremendous medical benefits for humans. "The technology behind this feat may lead to brain-powered prosthetic limbs for people with spinal cord injuries or disabling diseases that make such simple tasks impossible."
Do those eggheads at the University of Pittsburgh really think the monkeys will allow that to happen?
"The monkeys appear to enjoy the task. 'They sure like eating their marshmallows.' Sometimes the team will use pieces of apple, orange or zucchini. 'Just about anything we can that doesn't make too big of a mess,'" a hopelessly naive scientist told the gullible Reuters reporter.
Oh, there will be a mess, alright. A big, bloody mess.
"The researchers must overcome several engineering challenges, including developing more durable electrodes that do not lose their signal over time."
That, and figuring out how to quell a robot-monkey insurrection.
(Hat tip: Banjo man. Pirate-cyborg monkey image lifted from Urkobold.)
Posted by Ben at May 28, 2008 06:08 PMThis is obviously a good, and not evil, development. The researchers, after all, are from my alma mater.
Previous medical breakthroughs at Pitt:
Polio vaccine developed by Jonas Salk.
And, in what now looks like an omen ... the first baboon to human liver transplant.
Duh, duh DAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Posted by: Dr. Zaius at May 28, 2008 06:51 PM