There are few more pleasurable reads, at least for me, than a scathing movie review. And the reviews of Mike Myers' "The Love Guru" doesn't disappoint. This movie looked terrible to me from the get-go. And my opposition to it was only heightened by passing an enormous billboard for the movie with Myers' hamming mug every day on the way to work.

Rotten Tomatoes is always the place to go for all the good (or bad) stuff. Jessica Alba comes in for some really tough reviews, but it's Myers who bears the brunt. Here are some excerpts:
"Myers is anti-comedy. . . . that is, if one presumes comedy ought to be smart, new, surprising or, yes, funny. This isn't an accusation. It has been Myers's shtick for a long time. ... In short, Myers's oeuvre is about sympathy laughs, although it's not his onscreen persona we feel sorry for in "The Love Guru." It is, at long last, Myers himself." — John Anderson, The Washington Post"Adam Sandler can breathe a sigh of relief: Thanks to fellow SNL alumus Mike Myers' crude, bafflingly unfunny comedy, Sandler's YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN won't be remembered as the worst movie of 2008. ... A bomb like this is a career killer, and Myers' is set to blow.> — Ken Fox, TV Guide's Movie Guide
"An oh-my-God-level disaster that’ll make you wonder if Hollywood actually hates us. ... Irredeemable." — Joshua Rothkopf, Time Out New York
"... the movie goes, swiftly and mercilessly, to dimwitted gags about food that resembles genitalia, urine-soaked-mop fights, chastity belts and what elephants drop onto the people standing behind them at the end of a long day — which is, come to think of it, as good a metaphor as any for the experience of watching this movie." — Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times (Headline: How can we put this? "Guru" is doo-doo)
And, in the damning with faint praise department, we have:
"a disappointment ... but not a disaster, and at least that's something."You may find yourself "secretly snickering."
"If ... you want to see gags about boogers, elephant poop, and mano-a-mano duels with mops drenched in urine, then this is for you."
And, my favorite:
"It's not very good but it won't want to make you tear your eyes out either."
Well, then. By all means plop down your $10.
Posted by Dr. Zaius at June 21, 2008 09:24 AM | TrackBackOTOH, I just got done seeing "Get Smart" yesterday, trapped out of the house with two hours to wait and a daytime temperature of 117 degrees, and was very pleasantly surprised -- I'd give it about an 87% on my Comedy-o-meter, which is pretty high for any comedy made after "Groundhog Day." Better-than-decent writing, some LOL points (although the best one is in the trailer also), and almost spot-on casting, even for Hymie. Love Guru? Not in a million skillion years. I'd sooner wait outdoors for two hours.
Posted by: Wry Mouth at June 21, 2008 11:38 AMIt amazes me how someone can go from incredibly funny to horribly unfunny in just a few years. It seems like most comedians lose their instincts after a few big successes... it seems like they should get better, not worse.
Posted by: Exurban Jon at June 21, 2008 03:20 PMYes, Jon. My wife and I have heard separate interviews of Myers to promote this movie and he came off as pretty arrogant and unfunny in each of them.
Maybe he knew this movie was bad and was in a sour mood preparing for the savaging he'd get in the press.
Posted by: Dr. Zaius at June 21, 2008 04:52 PMI heard Myers on Dennis Miller's radio show the other night. He called in late. His repartee with Dennis seemed a bit strained. Worst of all, he defended Deepak Chopra.
In any case, the trailer looked so bad that I wrote off "The Love Guru" months ago. However, I did like the short assessment by The New York Post's Kyle Smith: "'The Love Guru' is even funnier than 'Wayne's World' or 'Austin Powers.' Not. If this movie were a president, it would be Tedious Roosevelt."
Posted by: Ben at June 21, 2008 06:04 PMI'm trying to think of a funny Mike Meyers comedy since the first Austin Powers movie....nope, not coming to me. I think at this point he's getting close to the comedy Mendoza Line. (Should it be the Mencia Line?)
Posted by: Monkey RobbL at June 21, 2008 06:20 PMMYERS IS A TOOL UPDATE: Mrs. Zaius just hipped me to a story about Myers fretting at the Conan O'Brien show that he needed soy nondairy creamer in the green room. Oh, and he needed raspberry seltzer and Twizzlers, or (to the betterment of the show, no doubt) he wouldn't go on. And it was a touch-and-go situation when the interns who spread out over midtown Manhattan brought the wrong brand of raspberry seltzer. Sheesh!
And, yes, Ben. I also recall that Myers called late, and seemed detached. Miller was trying hard to play the straight man for Myers, and he just didn't seem to want to bite. Again, I think the bitterness over the obvious failure of this movie was sinking in.
But I have a better bit from that Kyle Smith review (which is probably funnier than the movie itself). Smith imagines the pitch meeting:
The pitch meeting must have been brief. "It's about this Eastern spiritual dude who writes self-help books with goofy titles." "OK . . . And?" "And, um, he gets various kinds of food stuck in his beard?" "OK . . . And?" "And we'll fill it out with lots of crotch jokes and people getting hit in the head with stuff." "You're a genius!"
Posted by: Dr. Zaius at June 21, 2008 08:32 PMEven better was Smith's one-word (non)recommend: "Hindon't."
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