Infinite MonkeysThe Associated Press does its best to cheer up Americans this Sunday by headlining a story: "Everything seemingly is spinning out of control."
WASHINGTON - Is everything spinning out of control?Midwestern levees are bursting. Polar bears are adrift. Gas prices are skyrocketing. Home values are abysmal. Air fares, college tuition and health care border on unaffordable. Wars without end rage in Iraq, Afghanistan and against terrorism.
Horatio Alger, twist in your grave.
The can-do, bootstrap approach embedded in the American psyche is under assault.
Yeah. Under constant assault by a cynical, defeatist, unfailingly negative mainstream media — especially the Associated Press. Wars "without end"? Ever? How the hell does the AP know that?
Prediction: If Obama wins the election, suddenly the sun will shine again. Homelessness will disappear from the headlines. Levees will fail to burst. Polar bears will enjoy comfortable lives again. And a national happiness will spread like a virus from sea to shining sea.
If McCain wins ... we're even more doomed.
Posted by Dr. Zaius at June 22, 2008 04:46 PM"Midwestern levees are bursting. Polar bears ... adrift" threaten the "can-do" approach?
God be with the C+ students who have to write under deadline.
Posted by: Wry Mouth at June 22, 2008 05:12 PMWith all those polar bears adrift (and thereby threatened), I may have to resume clubbing baby seals to keep their numbers in check.
Posted by: rabidsquirrel at June 23, 2008 06:39 AMWith all those polar bears adrift (and thereby threatened), I may have to resume clubbing baby seals to keep their numbers in check.
Posted by: rabidsquirrel at June 23, 2008 06:39 AM