Infinite Monkeys

Amy Winehouse has emphysema... no, no, no!

Here's a public service announcement in the making: Crack cocaine can turn vivacious and talented (if absurdly tattooed) young chanteuse into an oxygen-sucking invalid in just a few years. Just ask Amy Winehouse. The 24-year-old soul singer has early-stage emphysema. Her dad tells the Sunday Mirror, "With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes, her lungs are all gunked up. There are nodules around the chest and dark marks. She's got 70 percent lung capacity."

The good news is, if Winehouse stays off the pipe, she can lead a "magnificent life." Perhaps. Hey, positive attitude! Some people have compared Winehouse to Billie Holiday. Given the trajectory of Winehouse's personal life, she may have Holiday beat by a decade. At least.