Infinite Monkeys
"...a sparkly blog..." - James Lileks"Read them only with extreme caution."- Hugh Hewitt
Infinite MonkeysOn this actual Memorial Day Monday I haven't done much more than have a few quick words with my sons (8 & 4) about what the day stands for. Well, we did listen to most of Michael Medved's account of the background behind the events that led to our nation's independence. Now I'm listening to Victor Davis Hanson on Hugh Hewitt's pre-taped show. The boys are more into their legos.
My real observance of Memorial Day took place over the last week, as I watched the first 7 and a half of the ten episodes of the HBO production of Band of Brothers. (Since my boys are still too young for such a realistic portrayal of war, I probably won't be able to watch the conclusion until tomorrow.) I had read the Stephen Ambrose book a few years ago, but the time lapse and the different styles of storytelling made the experience completely fresh. I am at a loss for how to describe the quality of the series. My expectations were high – very high. I tried to steel myself for disappointment. But the production surpassed my hopes, and in many ways, improved upon the interpretation of my reading mind's eye.
From HBO's online press releases:
Ambrose read the scripts for [HBO's] BAND OF BROTHERS, but was content, he says, to let "Hanks and Spielberg do their magic, because I trust them so much and I know what they're going to do with the story." After seeing its translation to the screen, Ambrose is, he declares, "ecstatic! It's just wonderful. This series is the best portrayal of war in the 1940s, ever. Everyone knows how good Spielberg is, and I was even more impressed after working with him on Saving Private Ryan, and then Hanks really put his heart and soul into this. And he got it, just the way it happened, and he's just a genius in how he does these things." Ambrose is particularly glad to see that Hanks kept to the truth, even the truth that doesn't look good, such as the American GIs looting, because it's what happened but its also put in context.There's too much to excerpt from the section on the costumes and weaponry, and the sections on special effects and the production/art design.
It feels odd to be praising the work of film makers on Memorial Day. But the subjects of their work, specifically and generally, are deserving of such efforts of remembrance.
From the account of the screening in Normandy for "forty-seven of the 51 remaining Easy Company veterans and their families,"
Veterans praised the screening as realistic and moving. Veteran Herbert Suerth observed, "It was as intense as was shown [on screen]. It wasn't Hollywood. It was real.""It's marvelous, what they've done," said Donald Malarkey, "It's exactly like it was when we were there."
"It's a very emotional day," added veteran Richard Winters. "Pass these lessons that we learned along. Don't forget them. They were hard lessons to learn."
UC San Diego student Daniel Watts, who noticed my post the other day about the controversy over his airing the Nick Berg decapitation video on college TV, writes:
As I learned during the gubernatorial race, the media has a tendency to take everything I say out of context.Some of the articles have misquoted me as saying that the video "is not a big deal."
It IS a big deal. Anyone dying in Iraq is a big deal. What the media blew out of proportion was the attempted showing of the Nick Berg video on Library Walk on Tuesday (by another student, not me); the video wasn't even shown, but the media hung out for 2 hours to interview the guy.
There are multiple reasons to show the video. The main one is that photos of Iraqi prisoner abuse have been plastered all over the newspapers and Internet, but the media have not gone to similar lengths to try to give the same attention to an even worse crime committed AGAINST Americans. The media's coverage of the Abu Ghraib prison abuse is slanted; they will show graphic photos of prisoners being mauled, humiliated, etc. but they won't show even worse
atrocities committed by the terrorists.I don't know how you felt about the published story, but I just wanted to clear that up. The media tend to selectively print what fits their predetermined story best.
Sincerely,
Daniel Watts
I wish young Watts, whom I know a little and for whom I predict great things, had read my post closely. I think he would have discovered that I agree, in so many words, with everything he said here. As I've written before, I think every American (of reasonable age and maturity) should see the Berg video. What we need most in this war is clarity. Who is the enemy? Why do we fight? Although there will always be a few invincibly ignorant people who will never be reached, these questions are answered, in part, by the ghastly images and audio on the Berg video. This enemy will not be reasoned with. He aims to kill us. We need to kill him first.
Although Memorial Day weekend doesn't mark the official beginning of the Summer season, for all intents and purposes Summer starts now. One sign: the high temperature here shot up 20 degrees in a day.
This weekend, then, was supposed to be the kick off of the Summer of Rum. Instead, we're all sick as monkeys. Mama is, to be delicate, expurgating regularly. The boy and I are feverish, bleary-eyed, and delusional. He tried to bludgeon me with a plastic golf club a couple of hours ago, but he was too weak to land anything but glancing blows. I'm so achey, though, it still hurt like hell. Pathetic.
Anyway, I had planned to throw together some preliminary remarks about rum, how it's made, what's worth drinking. I had something in the works...well, something in the back of my mind, really...about the Mojito.
I am, in fact, sipping a Mojito as I type this. I made it with Pyrat Blanco rum (per Monkey David's recommendation on the phone the other day), key limes, sugar, and mint from my front yard. Unfortunatey, I can't really taste it. Muddling key limes, I think, was a mistake; too many seeds. But I needed to use them up.
So, consider this another tease.
Oh, I happened to catch the end of W.W. II memorial dedication on Fox News this afternoon. Wasn't the music marvelous? And did anyone see the two Presidents Bush kidding around with President Clinton? What was that about?
Yes, King George is just chock full of good ideas.
And I'm sure the administration will also be kind enough to fund a centralized database to store these medical records. And that database will never ever be used for unsavory purposes. Because we have a good and trustworthy government - one that always tells the absolute un-spun truth about everything. You can trust them, because they're only looking out for your best interests.
Evangelical Outpost reader JD Mays has posted the Best. Comment. Ever.
Anybody want a peanut?If you don't get it, see the brilliant preface to Joe Carter's post on the epistemology of political dishonesty. It won't explain JD's comment in full, but it will point you toward the shortlist of required reading and viewing necessary for cultural literacy.
I'm watching the season finale of "Enterprise" on the TiVo (don't worry, James, no spoilers here--I'm still watching). It's pretty good; I'm pleased that the show has returned to being a cheesy space opera (although the clash of the visions was clear after the opening sequence, when the ridiculously dramatic evil reptilians were eating cute animals, and then the scene cut to the ridiculously not dramatic theme song).
I'm only half way through it, and I'm hoping they have the courage to destroy the whole timeline, and say that the rest of the Star Trek franchise never ended up happening. We're sorry for the whole trekkie thing, and we decided there could never be a Federation after that terrible dilithium-crystals-for-food scandal.
My alma mater is in the news again, and not in a good way. University administrators have stopped a student (and former California gubernatorial candidate) from showing the notorious Nick Berg beheading video on college TV.
Daniel Watts, a junior and an opinion editor at The UCSD Guardian, aired the video two weeks ago on Warren College television, a closed-circuit station available campus-wide. Evidently, he needed approval to broadcast it. Why is not exactly clear—something about a rule barring "indecent" or "patently offensive" content. As Watts explained to the AP, "I wanted to show the media is blowing it out of proportion." Mission accomplished.
The Guardian, the opinion section of which Monkey David and I edited more than a decade ago, published a rather listless editorial on the controversy today. "Watts, who now plans on airing his footage on Student Run Television on May 27, should use the video only as a means to promote open debate among students who choose to view it." As opposed to what another student planned to do with it on the University's Library Walk: "[the] screening was to be a self-proclaimed 'pro-American' event, intended to rally the campus in support of U.S. soldiers in a fit of disgust and thirst for vengeance toward Berg’s murderers. It would have been cheap propaganda, attempting to generalize the conflict in Iraq." Right. Because we wouldn't want to make any distinctions between civilized people and savages, now would we? We wouldn't want to illustrate the difference between the way the United States wages war, and how our enemies treat Americans.
Just out of curiousity, I went back and looked for what the Guardian's editors wrote about the Abu Ghraib prison scandal, which turned out to be nothing at all. That's probably just as well.
I said to my wife the other day, after another agonizing trip to the gas pump, that maybe our next car should be one of those new-fangled hybrids we keep hearing so much about. "Those things get, I dunno, 70 miles to the gallon or some such!" I proclaimed, having heard that figure bandied about here and there.
"Of course," my wife replied, "they cost an arm and a leg, don't they?"
"Maybe. But it would sure beat selling the boy into slavery," said I, only half in jest. At $2.30 a gallon and climbing, sacrifices may have to be made.
My wife nodded. "Don't make me have to kill you," she said affectionately.
I let the subject drop. But I kept thinking about those hybrid cars. Turns out—and I should have seen this coming—they aren't all they're cracked up to be:
Buyers star-struck by the stated fuel-efficiency ratings don't realize that, even at $2-a-gallon gas, it would take 12 years to recoup the cost of a hybrid Civic versus a similarly equipped gas-engine model.... Based on Consumer Reports results, the annual savings on a Civic hybrid versus a top-of-the-line Civic EX driven 15,000 miles a year is $200 at that pump price. But the hybrid costs about $2,400 more.
There's more, so read the whole thing, by all means. Bottom line: Even if you get 40-to-50-miles to the gallon, you still may end up having to sell your blood to make the car payment. Isn't that always the way? Then again, perhaps I shouldn't count out American ingenuity just yet.
Just spoke with my 23-month-old son on the phone. He's at the San Diego Zoo today with his grandma and grandpa. (This was a make-up trip after an ill-fated and disappointing visit to L.A.'s zoo a few weeks ago.) You'll never guess which animals he liked the most.
That isn't the subject of this story, but that's the obvious conclusion one draws from it.
I've been wondering how Monkey Ben, our resident classical music aficionado, is going to react when he finds out that my wife and I are attending the Lord of the Rings Symphony tonight.
A two-hour journey to Middle Earth, created by Howard Shore from his Oscar-winning score for the celebrated trilogy, played live in concert. The six-movement Symphony features 200 performers, with images by illustrators Alan Lee and John Howe projected above the orchestra as the action unfolds.Low brow though it may be, I'm curious about how it might stack up against the first Viennese Vegetable Orchestra.
The nine-piece orchestra play instruments constructed from vegetable material -- from a flute made out of a carrot, a saxophone carved out of a cucumber, a violin from leek and to a pumpkin converted into a double bass.I'm inclined to believe that neither of the aforementioned ensembles would be able to hold their own against The Punk Rock Orchestra...
...a forty-piece orchestra that hails from San Francisco, Calif. Their set list includes music by some of the more well-known punk bands, including Dead Kennedys, Sex Pistols, Suicidal Tendencies and Black Flag. ...all classically trained ... Many of them are recognized as masters at their instruments. Members of the orchestra have played with local symphonies and ensembles including the San Francisco Symphony and the San Francisco Opera.Here's the PRO's official site.
Worldview aside, sometimes postmodernism just makes you smile. But I only have tickets to the LOTR production. Alas, Phoenix is not yet a cultural mecca. Perhaps the more metropolitan Monkeys in LA, or our lost Monkey(stein) in NYC will be able to provide reviews of classical music's equivalent of le Salon des Refuses.
Dennis Miller's comment: "I'll worry about how the President says 'Abu Ghraib' when someone in the Arab world learns how to pronounce the word 'Democracy.'"
My comment: it was absurd almost to the point of surreal to hear the snide commentators on local L.A. public radio's AirTalk mock the President's pronunciation while mispronouncing the name themselves.
Slate's Explainer explains it. It doesn't rhyme with "babe."
And, yes, Dennis pronounced it wrong too. But he said "democracy" just fine, and that's what matters.
Just heard Frank Gaffney on the Hugh Hewitt show (the NARN guys are filling in for him) and he just used the phrase "The Effort to Liberate Iraq" as a euphemism for the war. This is carefully chosen and (I think) dishonest rhetoric. The text of the President's speech last night is also very troubling - full of neo-con jargon. A fisking is in order, although I'm not sure when I'm gonna get time for it.
In anticipation of the hot summer months ahead, I've been studying cool-weather cocktails. Rum drinks mostly. I'm sipping a passion-fruit mojito right now. (Tasty, but good grief! Do you have any idea how much passion fruit costs?) The great Bernard DeVoto wrote of rum, "In both cheapness and effectiveness it proved the best liquor for Indian traders to debauch their customers with. People without taste buds can enjoy it now, though the head that follows it is enormous, and such sentimentalists as the seadogs of small sailing craft can believe they do. But mainly it is drunk as all sweet liquors are, in a regressive fantasy, a sad hope of regaining childhood's joy at the soda fountain. No believer could drink it straight or gentiled at the fastidious and hopeful hour."
DeVoto was right about a great deal, but he was sadly misinfomed about rum.
In the past, my tastes have run almost exclusively toward gin drinks, according to the DeVoto Doctrine, in conjunction with with my own rule about seasonal drinks. (The last two links are blog*spot entries, so you may have to scroll down.) When the mercury breaks 100, nothing beats a gin-and-tonic-with-lots-of-lime-and-a-generous-dose-of-Campari.
Well, almost nothing.
This year, I've discovered the wonders of rum. Actually, I should say I've expanded my horizons to discover the wonders of aged rum. A few years ago, I went on a major Mai Tai kick. Contrary to popular belief, a well-made Mai Tai is a truly top-shelf cocktail. By "well-made," I mean made the Trader Vic way, with really good dark rum, and orgeat syrup, etc. No pineapple juice! No farging grenadine!
Anyway, it turns out that there is a lot of really good rum out there. Sipping rum, as it were. But perfectly mixable, too. (Unlike single-malt scotch, say; it is, after all, rum.) A couple of months ago, the New York Times published a recipe for something called a Tamarind Rum Punch. It requires an ounce and a half of Ron Zacapa Centenario rum ($35 a bottle) and two and a half ounces of tamarind nectar ($0.65 a can). God help me, it's a fine drink. I found the recipe for the passion-fruit mojito there as well. Liberal media? Perhaps. But I say the Times is good for something after all.
I've worked through the Zacapa, as well as a the 12-year-old Montecristo from Honduras, Bacardi 8-year, and Appleton's Extra. All good stuff.
So good, in fact, that I've decided to declare this coming season the Summer of Rum. In the coming weeks, I'll be posting recipes for some exceptional rum cocktails. A few recipes will call for some obscure ingredients (Velvet Falernum, anyone?). Some... will not. All of them will be first-rate cocktails. I'll also post tasting notes on various rums. Occasionally, I will tie these posts to politics.
More often than not, however, I will post on politics after two or three of the cocktails I'll be posting recipes for. So, it's a win-win scenario.
While Robb is asking questions (just below) that may or may not involve the intent of the Founders, I have a more modern gripe. I've just about had it with these gall-dern noisy exhaust tips bolted onto an annoyingly high percentage of cars these days. You've heard 'em. Whether they're on a Civic or a Dodge Neon, they're just silly. I don't care what marginal measure of horsepower might be gained by lowering the exhaust pressure a smidge. To me it's about the same as using a clothespin to put a playing card in your bicycle spokes; fine if you're under ten years old.
As a noise-sensitive naybob, you might think that I have a problem with booming bass pouring from cars these days. Nope. Doesn't bother me. Well, let me amend that. If the trunk lid is rattling, well, that's a problem. But the low rumble isn't an issue for me.
But another noise is.
I don't care how popular it is. I don't care if it's copyrighted. Those damn short-piped Harley-Davidsons. It's not just about not liking the noise itself; it's that the cracking, thwap-thwapping of those engines, many tweaked and operated specifically for volume, is far more invasive and intrusive than subwoofer box I have encountered. These M-60 machine guns of the road (albeit with blanks) have on more than one occasion awakened my sleeping children, and not just while we're out on the road.
You might think I'm just gittin' old. But it bothers me that municipalities have statutes in place against stereo systems that can be heard from so many yards away, but there seems to be some sort of powerful Harley lobby preventing the enforcement of any noise codes against bikes loud enough to send veterans into fitful flashbacks.
That's it. Just had to get that out. Coming soon: my problems with the songs that the radio pumps through those subs.
Kind of a slow-news period, you know. Same stuff day after day - a little sodomy, some killing, bicycle-related accidents. A good time to sit back with a drink and reflect on some of the "questions we never ask" while waiting for the news to pick up. I submit, for your collective consideration, the following questions:
1. Why does the United States need a large standing military (as opposed to, say, individual state militias)?
2. Are "efficiency" or "effectiveness" good enough reasons for our military to develop an internal culture of unquestioning order-following?
3. Why shouldn't individual soldiers be held responsible for participating in an unjust war? (for purposes of discussion, let's say we invaded Canada to secure the free flow of Caribou meat and Celine Dion records, and to eliminate the festering problem of Languages of Unbearable Pomposity such as French)
4. How many civilian casualties are acceptable, and why?
5. ONE YEAR? And that's the MAXIMUM SENTENCE??? WTF???
I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to speak up on these issues, so if you'd like to contribute:
1. If you've got a trackback-enabled blogging tool or environment, make sure to include the trackback URL from this post.
2. If you're using a non-trackback-enabled blog, please send an e-mail to our address (see right column just under "Search") with the permalink URL for your blog response
3. If you're not a blogger, please send an e-mail to our address and I'll collect the responses and assemble them into a follow-on post with proper attribution (I'll give first name an last initial - not your e-mail address - unless you ask me to attribute your message otherwise)
4. I expect the other Monkeys will either construct comments or their own posts
Party on, Wayne!
Meandering through a link-chain that started at Shot In The Dark, I came across this funny quote on the Kos message board:
Of all the weather sites on the internet you linked to the Weather Underground?Who names their weather service after revolutionaries, anyway? I think they're down the street from the Symbionese Liberation Bakery.
Something about reading this quote:
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." - Plato
Made me consider this possible corollary:
"One of the penalties for participating in politics is that you end up becoming like your inferiors."
This consideration was, undoubtedly, fueled by my memory of P. J. O'Rourke's quip:
"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us."
Not really making a point here, I'm just saying.
Okay, what is it with Presidents (real, fictional, or hopeful) and their bicycles? Good grief.
if they have a hankerin' for a good movie, they should instead go see "Kill Bill: Vol. 2". I enjoyed the first movie, and I know at least one other Monkey found the violence "pornographic", but I found it very campy and certainly Python-esque. But the second movie is brilliant, and very different from the first. It's a credit to Tarantino's amazing talent, not to mention his undying love of movies (not "films", movies - flicks, as Robert Rodriguez might call them.)
Make no mistake, there's still some strong violence in this one, but it's more along the lines of the handful of violent scenes from "Pulp Fiction", rather than the first "Kill Bill" or even "Reservoir Dogs", and of course it also has strong language, although again less than probably any of his other movies. So give it a pass if those things bug you. But if you want to see a surprisingly touching multi-genre action movie from an increasingly mature master of the form, get out and see this one before it leaves the theaters.
I hope that neither Victor Davis Hanson nor David Allen White make the mistake of seeing the movie Troy.
Once again, Joe Carter at Evangelical Outpost has assembled a post that I wish I had taken the time to tackle. This time it's the beginning of a compendium on what you need to know about the U.N. / Iraq Oil-for-Food Program corruption and why it matters. Note that this is not your stereotypical blog post, full of blustery opinion, backed up with a link or two. No, Joe's is more of a fact-fest with quality-links-a-plenty. Someday, I think decent history books will not recount the Gulf Wars without detailing the influence of the oil-for-food scandal on the politics of all the countries involved and opposed.
The fine folks at The Claremont Institute continue to do what they do so well by hosting Bill Bennett's new article Remembering Why We Fight. You really, really ought to read it all the way through.
Power Line blogger Scott "Big Trunk" Johnson had some comments recently about about "Secret Plans" of John Kerry and Richard Nixon. Interesting stuff.
But these pale in comparison to THE Secret Plan uncovered right here on Infinite Monkeys in January. Dr. Monkeystein has the story, and Ben provides further coverage.
Lileks is thinking of home-roasting his own coffee. I've been known to do so. Roast, that is, not just think. I haven't read this particular book, but I really really like this author's first book (3rd ed.) on coffee in general. If I remember correctly, I was kind of ambivalent about his book on espresso.
I use a little Melitta Aromaroast air roaster that works a lot like the early 80's hot air popcorn poppers. You have to quickly dump the beans into a bowl (or a colander that won't melt) and blow on them while mixing with a spoon to improvise a proper cooling cycle. Also, you can see samples of the roast in progress with the right size spoon and a willingness to let your fingers get a little hot. Over time you'll get to the point where you can almost pinpoint the roast by ear and timing. (Here's a tip sheet for the Melitta. Let me mention that green coffee doesn't go bad for a long long time. Some, like some Sumatrans, are intentionally aged green.)
Anyone interested should first get the Davids book. The stove methods in the book are possible, but hard to achieve good results with. Don't judge home roasting by those experiments. From there, buy something inexpensive like the Melitta. Yes, there are rotating-drum gas-powered home roasters that you can spend thousands on. That's your call.
Lastly, let me suggest befriending a local roaster. Get to the point where they're comfortable with you hanging out and talking while they roast in a real full-sized batch roaster. Ask questions, keep your ears and eyes open while they do what they do. I found such stuff invaluable. Furthermore, this roaster will likely become your supplier for green (unroasted) coffee beans. Beyond buying them for considerably less than roasted beans, you may enjoy some charity. Established roasters will often receive unsolicited little packages of beans from importers or plantations as samples. I was lucky enough to have some of these passed directly on to me free of charge.
It's a rewarding little hobby, and one that you can share with your spouse and houseguests. That all-important freshness will be without equal. Go ahead. Indulge you inner DIY epicurean.
Let's hope Derbyshire hasn't started a trend here of bloggers releasing their tax returns.
Though I'd sure like to see what Lileks and Hewitt made last year.
Tonight was quite a night.
I travel a lot. It's part of the job, and I have to admit I mostly enjoy it. Dinner on someone else's tab, visits to interesting places, and "alone time." Being an introvert, and having two young kids, that last part is pretty valuable. And I have little rituals to avoid some of the travel-related "ruts". For example, I try to avoid hotel chains that use the same floorplan, so that I don't wake up and wonder what city I'm in.
But my favorite ritual is to attend a major league baseball game if the town has a team. I'm back in Anaheim this trip, and I was lucky enough to score a really fantastic seat for my first local Angels game. I was about 15 rows up from the field, just to the right of the visitors' dugout. And the visiting team was the New York Yankees, the team I despise more than any other team in baseball.
I got to the game about a half hour early, and I'm glad I did, because my "home team", the Arizona Diamondbacks, were playing the Atlanta Braves, and something special was about to happen. Just as I was sitting down, the Jumbotron displayed Turner Field, and the announcer explained that Randy Johnson was within three outs of pitching a perfect game. A perfect game! This is the baseball rarity of rarities. It's happened only 16 times before in the history of Major League Baseball, and I was about to witness it again. Three years ago, Diamondbacks #2 pitcher Curt Schilling came close, and then some cold-hearted San Diego Padre bastard laid down a bunt and ruined it.
But tonight that wasn't going to happen. Johnson saw 27 batters, and retired all 27. During that ninth inning, it was all about Randy. The Atlanta crowd cheered for Johnson. And the Braves batters knew what they had to do: Try as hard as they could to get a hit. If they laid down now, it would cheapen the greatest victory a pitcher could ever have. It was compelling baseball, and I got to witness it in a stadium full of people cheering him on.
UPDATE: The wonderfully named "MonkeyFilter" posts this discussion of Randy's perfect game.
Oh, and then there was a game to play. And what a game it was. Ten and a half innings of shutout baseball for both teams, and in the bottom of the eleventh, new Designated Hitter Adam Riggs knocked in the winning run. I was surrounded by rabid fans for both teams: On my left and behind me were passionate Yankee boosters, while to my right and front were season ticket holding Angels fans. I was in the eye of the storm, and it was fantastic.
And now, I'm back in my hotel room, Lewis Black is on my television, and I've got a bottle of Sangiovese from the Santa Ana Wine Club. I'm a black-hearted sinner, and God blesses me anyway. What a deal!
The landscape has been altered. My naive little world has been changed. No, it's nothing political. Someone stole a planted bush from my front yard last night. No, not the sago palm that was just sitting there in a decorative pot. Not any of the kids' toys. Not the nice patio chairs. Somebody stole a bush that I planted in the ground, I don't know... two years ago.
Now the word "manicured" is not something that would normally apply to my yard. But right along our front entry, we planted two manicured "pom-pom" style bushes that played against the stonework for a geometric 50's/60's feel, setting the tone for our interior. So it's not like these are just some old scrubs that were here when we moved in, that we don't give a rip about. It's not so much the cost of the bushes, but the amount of time that went into the upkeep of the matching pair. Now, to quote Tones On Tail... there's only one!
Witness the scene:
That's where is used to be. This picture doesn't really convey the depth of the hole. Note the enriched soil, now sun dried, spread across the bricks and walkway. The trail of dirt and leaves leads off between our cars, out to the street.
Here's the remaining bush alongside the hole from the photo above.
Here's the trail of soil and twigs leading down the driveway. It continues onto the sidewalk, then disappears. Obviously there was a getaway vehicle involved. After more snooping, my wife noticed that there are extraneous cuttings and yard debris where our plant's dirt trail ends at the street, including a flower not found in our yard, or any close neighbor's. Assembling the clues, my Mrs. Monkey seems to have hit on a very plausible theory: some landscaper in need of a plant and short on time or money (certainly on scruples) found a quick fix on the way to, or on a resource-hunting detour from, a job.
So here's what we're left with. The sad thing is, I bet that there's a local landscaper who knows where to find just the thing to match my remaining bush.
Perhaps we could pass this post around the Phoenix area blogs. "Have you seen a bush matching this description?"
Ronald Brownstein was a call-in guest during the first hour on Hugh Hewitt's show. In poo-pooing the discovery/deployment of a sarin-containing artillery shell in Iraq (in addition to last week's mustard gas shell), Brownstein was asked if they had any bearing on the notion that "WMD's haven't been found." He said that they didn't, and pondered, "We don't even know where that shell came from." Brownstein was obviously suggesting that the artillery round could have been brought in from somewhere outside Iraq by someone other than Iraqis, but not in so many words.
Taking Brownstein's implication to its logical conclusion, I have to ask: if it's possible that chemical-weapon artillery shells were brought into Iraq in the time since its occupation, isn't it possible that chemical-weapon artillery shells were taken out of Iraq (say... into Syria?) during the many months between the obvious hardening of U.S. resolve for invasion and the point at which all of the hoops had been jumped through to make it happen? I'm bothered by Brownstein's implication that since we have not already uncovered an IKEA or Costco of chemical, biological, and radiological nasties, there simply could not have been any.
While reading Joe Carter's piece at Evangelical Outpost, I was struck by how many callers on talk radio and some commenters on the blogs are saying, "They're just artillery shells. What kind of a threat are two cannonballs to the U.S.?" I don't think I need to go into any explanation of how the concern was more about terrorists in the market for sarin, and Hussein having been known by everyone to have had it. But folks are now downplaying the legitimacy of these WMD finds because they're just artillery shells.
A few weeks ago, John Kerry was on Hardball with Chris Matthews. Way back then the party line seemed to be that artillery shells would have been the most incriminating type of WMD to discover.
Matthews: If there was an exaggeration of WMD, exaggeration of the danger, exaggeration implicitly of the connection to al Qaeda and 9/11, what's the motive for this, what's the "why?" Why did Bush and Cheney and the ideologues around take us to war? Why do you think they did it?Oh, great. Hewitt is playing the audio of this very quote on the air as I'm formatting this post. --sigh-- Oh well... I'll still post it.Kerry: It appears, as they peel away the weapons of mass destruction issue, and--we may yet find them, Chris. Look, I want to make it clear: Who knows if a month from now, you find some weapons. You may. But you certainly didn't find them where they said they were, and you certainly didn't find them in the quantities that they said they were. And they weren't found, and I have talked to some soldiers who have come back who trained against the potential of artillery delivery, because artillery was the way they had previously delivered and it was the only way they knew they could deliver. Now we found nothing that is evidence of that kind of delivery...
Over at Fraters Libertas, they've posted a reader's comments on a Neal Justin article reviewing Lewis Black's current HBO special, "Black On Broadway".
Whew! So many hyperlinks there I'm too tired to comment.
Okay, I haven't seen this particular special, but I've seen several of Black's specials on Comedy Central, as well as his weekly (sort of) segments on The Daily Show. My conclusion: Both reader Tom and writer Neil are thinking too hard about this. It's comedy, not philosophy. Black is funny to some people, and not to others. I find him hilarious most of the time, and I identify with his "Is it possible that the whole world is really THIS STUPID?" schtick. Others won't like it, and that's fine.
Justin tries to talk about how "important" it is for "edgy" comics to be around during times like these. Yawn. He's a COMEDIAN. Yes, he does a lot of political comedy, but if you watch his older specials, you can see that he's an equal opportunity political comic. He was ruthless with the Clintons during their reign, and now he shows King George no mercy. But it's all about making people laugh, and a successful comic is one who figures out who he "is" and hones that presentation. I can't imagine Black sitting down with his agent and philosophizing about what sort of comedy America "needs" right now, as if he's performing some sort of comedic public service.
Many popular artists wind up drowning in a sea of phony self-importance. But Black isn't Lenny Bruce. He isn't even Sam Kinison. He's a comic (yes, I know he's also a playwright) who has found a persona that he can work with, and that persona has found an audience. Good for him. Laugh if you find him funny.
Daniel Henniger writes in today's Opinion Journal:
By now, some Americans may feel the need for respite from the images of Abu Ghraib and the five hooded barbarians standing behind Nick Berg. This week's column will try to provide some measure of respite.(Hat tip: I don't listen to Laura Ingraham much - just a minute or two on the way to and from the pool some mornings - but I'm glad I caught her mention of this article.)It is the story of Americans, in and out of the U.S. government, who moved mountains to help seven horribly maimed Iraqi men. It is not always pleasant reading, but there are rewards to staying with it, especially now.
Today Joe Carter wrote this post about the views of different Christians concerning the death penalty. I recently discussed this issue at one of my company's frequent poker nights.
I believe in capital punishment in principle, but do not believe it should be practiced in America (or, for all I know, any other country) at this time. I believe there are (at least) five criteria for the proper application of the death penalty:
1. It should be administered for the right reason, which is because the criminal deserves to be killed for their crime. Many people like to speculate about the deterrent value of certain punishments, but as C.S. Lewis has so ably pointed out, if deterrence is our motivation, then it doesn't matter if the accused is actually guilty - only that they are perceived as such. I will leave the list of crimes that aught to be punished by death for someone else - it's a bunny trail I don't care to go down right now. But the motivation for execution all too often seems to be some combination of revenge, deterrence, and "tough on crime" political posturing.
2. It should be administered fairly. The American justice system is hopelessly corrupt, and I have no confidence that the death penalty is being consistently applied or that the recipients are reliably guilty. Because of the motivations I mentioned in point one, the likelihood of unjust executions is unacceptably high.
3. It should be administered promptly. If the system is fairly convicting and sentencing criminals to death for the right reasons, then it should also waste no time in carrying out the sentence. Exhaust all appeals (quickly), give the criminal's family a chance to say their goodbyes, and get it over with.
4. It should be administered publicly. The public should have no question about what their government is doing, who they are doing to, and how they are doing it. The government executes criminals on behalf of the governed - that's the social contract, after all. We surrender our right to bring justice to our enemies with the understanding that the state will "wield the sword" on our behalf. Not only should we know it's happening, we should face what "we" are doing. When a democratic government kills, "we" are doing the killing and should face that fact squarely. Executions should be performed in front of the courthouse, for all to see.
5. It should be administered humanely. Our current common methods of execution are barbaric. Actually, they're worse than barbaric. Lopping someone's head off is profoundly more humane than pumping a conscious man full of excruciatingly painful and slow-acting chemicals. The most common legal means of execution are lethal injection, gas chamber, and electric chair. These are all horribly inhumane ways to kill someone in an age as technically advanced as ours. The MOB executes people more humanely than this. Firing squad, guillotine, and a simple bullet to the head are more humane than any of the methods we employ. And we have the means for much more humane killing. Consult Dr. Kevorkian on the matter if you have to.
Is it tragedy or is it farce? I don't know. But for LaToya London to be eliminated from "Idol"? Appalling. Simply appalling. But she'll be OK. She'll get a nice deal. It'll be OK. It'll be OK...
That said, Elton John is still an ass.
Release the votes!
I see we're getting a lot of traffic today from people Googling the video of Nick Berg's decapitation. Sorry, folks: we don't have it, we don't plan to get it, and even if we did, I'm not sure we have the bandwidth to actually post it. Personally, I think every American should see it. We need to be reminded who (and what) the enemy is.
If, however, you're looking for links to ultra-violent flash cartoons, vintage cocktail recipes, or political commentary of dubious quality, then you've come to the right place. Thanks for stopping by.
Contrary to my earlier assertion, it turns out you can shoot the sheriff and commit horrible blasphemy at the same time. (If you haven't seen the original, to, you know, give the carnage some kind of context, click here.) (Oh, yeah, and there's an interactive version, too.)
If anybody can make sense of the marketing strategy here, please clue me in. (Hat tip: F-Rock)
America is the Empire that was ashamed to be an Empire. Say what you will about the Romans, at least you knew who was in charge when they came to town. And the British, too: for all that was misguided about the British Empire, at least they knew how to articulate their vision, and they knew that after you invade a country, you need to stick around for at least a few decades if you really want to bring fundamental social, political, and/or religious change to that country.
But America is ashamed to be an Empire, even when we're "doing Empire things" like invading a country. Of COURSE the Iraq war is an Imperial action. We invaded the country, decimated its military, removed the existing government and placed a new government of our choosing in its place. If that's not an Imperial action, what in the world is? If we were a little more self-aware about our Imperialism, we'd have known from the outset to say something like this:
"Look, the only way we're going to be safe in the long-term is to bring democracy to the Muslim world and eradicate organized Islamofascism. We're starting with Iraq because we can. It's do-able. And if Saudi Arabia doesn't get their act together, they're on the list, too. At any rate, we know from history that if you want to change a country, you've gotta start with the kids, so after we move in to Iraq, one of the first institutions we're taking over is the schools. Compulsory education all around, and we're running the show. After 20-30 years these kids will have read enough Enlightened Western literature to be able to take over. In the meantime, we'll be visiting everyone's home and confiscating every weapon in the country."
But you'll never hear that. You'll hear nonsense like "June 30 transfer of power", with a bunch of caveats delivered after-the-fact and completely uncovered by the press. If I heard King George get on the television and read the paragraph above off his teleprompter, I might have a little respect for him.
I'd still be opposed to the invasion, but at least I'd respect his honesty about the matter.
African Frogs Threaten San Francisco Area: "California biologists are alarmed over the latest invasive species to take up residence in this city: African clawed frogs, which eat just about anything and tend to breed like crazy."
Unlike many San Franciscans, who tend not to breed and are very picky about what they eat.
Borscht-belt comic and Friar's Club Abbot Alan King died of cancer yesterday. He was 76. I liked Alan King. He could play clean, he could play blue, and he could act. Not just the great ones are leaving us. The pretty good ones are going, too. Pretty soon, the only ones left will be the mediocre.
I think I'll raise a glass to King's memory tonight. Maybe I'll rent "Cat's Eye" this week, too.
How else to explain the lack of posts? Ordinarily, I can carve the time out of my busy schedule, because I'm an incorrigible procrastinator. But we've got a big event in the desert this weekend, and I'm up to my eyeballs in real work.
As for the rest of the Monkeys, Robb is deep in consultation, Brad is wading through declensions, David is doing whatever it is he does (after 10 years, I still don't know), and Monkeystein remains in hiding. No leisure for blogging, let alone philosophy.
But I guess you could say 10 3/4. Then you get into the business of which version, Nowak or Haas? That makes my brain bleed. Confused? See Lileks today for the question. To help wade through this confusion, see David Griegel's short but informative article.
Also, via Lileks (who found it through Terry Teachout's blog), see this preposterous editorial. There's no arguing with taste, I guess.
More departures from Air America, which inexplicably ranks among the top 125 political sites. Somewhere, Sam Seder is sobbing.
(Hat tip: Phil, who really needs to update his site.)
I just talked to Dr. Monkeystein. He may return soon, but right now, he's playing with a time machine.
Just thought you'd want to know.
An important lesson for the kids: Don't shoot the sheriff. (Hat tip: F-Rock)
Drudge and Sullivan have linked to this, but I wanted to make one observation: soon, some cynical Bush-hater will say that he did this for publicity. But look in his eyes. Remember not just who the President is hugging, but who he is looking at: a man who lost his wife on that terrible day.
A remarkable insight into the character of this man.
When did they know about the prisoner abuse? And would they have done anything still if the photos hadn't surfaced?
I'm not talking about the Pentagon, of course--the now famous report show the Pentagon was taking action, even if it was slowly.
I'm talking about the media. Obviously the media, even the print media, are more interested in striking visuals, but it's frustrating (but hardly surprising) to see pack behavior, and the desire to only tell the current big story rather than going out and finding one. It's becoming clear, though, that a lot of people in Iraq knew about the problems.
Journalists are always talking about their public duty, but had the media covered this story properly perhaps it could have been handled without a big explosion.
But that's not what the journalists really want, is it?
After CBS took major heat for "The Real Beverly Hillbillies," the weasels at NBC sneak in with a pilot called "The High Life," a show about "a family that's transported from backwoods Appalachia to ritzy life in a Beverly Hills mansion." Needless to say, some real hillbillies are awfully sore about it. So is Les Moonves, I bet.
Update: I replaced the second link above. I think the new one doesn't require registration.
Check out A Small Victory and Powerline on the latest Rall outrage.
Rall explains himself:
My cartoon is a reaction to the extraordinary lionizing of Mr. Tillman as a national hero. First of all, the media's decision to genuflect to a cult of death is terrifyingly similar to the cult of Palestinian suicide bombers in the Middle East and the glorious coverage given by the Japanese during World War II to fallen kamikaze fighters. Nowhere has this excessive praise for the act of voluntary death been more extreme than in Mr. Tillman's case.The purpose of a political cartoon is to stimulate discussion, and there was no discussion about America's post-9/11 death cult.
Second, Mr. Tillman served an evil president and an evil cause. Anyone with an open mind after 9/11 could easily have learned the truth, that the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq occured instead of a war on terror, not as part of one. A person who planned to risk his life in combat should reasonably be expected to dig a little deeper rather than to fall for Bush's transparent lies. We all judge each other, and while Tillman's decision to sacrifice millions of dollars for his beliefs is admirable, his belief that killing the citizens of Iraq and Afghanistan had something to do with defending America was not. At best, Tillman was foolish and misguided.
There you have it, folks. You can't get much more explicit than that. But isn't it funny how cavalier Rall is about tossing around the word "evil"?
My fiancee finally figured out who John Stevens sounds like (just in time for his departure from American Idol): Morrissey. There's a Smiths song on the radio right now, and the similarity is striking.
Now that Stevens has time on his hands, maybe he should record a cover of "Hand in Glove."
Brad has sucked me in to his Splenda-fueled madness. At the MonkeySummit, we spent time buying unusual diet sodas at Galco's Soda Pop Stop, and I came home with a couple of cases of soda. Here's my informal opinion of the three diet root beers I've tasted:
1. "Root 66" from Roadside Beverage LLC. This was the best by far. My previous favorite diet root beer was IBC (sweetened with NutraSweet), and this one is as good or better.
2. Boylan's (sorry, no URL) was second best. They seem to have the best combination of wide product selection and taste.
3. Jones Soda's diet root beer was good, but it definitely came in last. Too watery.
Fortunately, in my search, I was able to find a similar supplier here in Scottsdale, Arizona. They're called "Pop - The Soda Shop" and they're on Scottsdale Road just south of McDowell. They have all three of these sodas, although their cost for Root 66 is pretty steep compared to Jones & Boylan's.
Woman Who Won the Va. Lottery Is Broke:
Suzanne Mullins, who won $4.2 million in 1993, owes $154,147, a circuit court judge ruled last week...When Mullins hit the jackpot in January 1993, she planned to split the money three ways with her husband and daughter. After taxes, Suzanne Mullins' share worked out to 20 annual payments of $47,778.84.
But the payments weren't enough, and money got tight. Mullins decided in 1998 to take out a loan with People's Lottery Foundation, a company with the financial niche of serving lottery winners who need their money faster than the annual payments can arrive. The foundation lent Mullins $197,746.15, which she agreed to pay back with her yearly checks from the Virginia lottery through 2006.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. First, don't play the Lotto unless you're prepared to piss your money away. Second, if by some miracle you actually win, take the money in a lump sum, rather than the annual payouts. Third, acknowledge at the outset that you are incapable of managing your own money. Find a reputable financial advisor. Invest wisely.
Finally, if you do win, and you do take the money in a lump sum, fake your own death, and move to Mexico. It's the only way to be sure your greedy relatives don't get their grubby hands on your dough.
Not that I've given this any thought.
I seem to remember a joke about a mouse, an elephant, and some quicksand.
I drive a Volkswagen, but did not receive a call.
When Lisa Schmeiser wrote today about "Cyberpunk gone right, and horribly wrong," I don't think she had this story in mind.
Which is a shame, really.
But probably beyond the scope of what she intended to write.
David Brock's new venture, Media Matters for America, is up and running as of today. Like Air America before it, this appears to be another expensive effort to combat the "myth of the liberal media." As Brock writes,
Because a healthy democracy depends on public access to accurate and reliable information, Media Matters for America is dedicated to alerting news outlets and consumers to conservative misinformation—wherever we find it, in every news cycle—and to spurring progressive activism based on standards and accountability in media...Today, the misinformation pumped out by the conservative media machine—a multibillion-dollar network of talk radio shows, cable television, heavily subsidized newspapers and magazines, political pundits, partisan thinks tanks, and high-traffic Internet sites—is even more pervasive, spreading like a virus into professional media venues.
Oh yeah? The conservative foundations are a bit more tight-fisted than Brock lets on, let me tell you. Richard Scaife isn't throwing around $2 million to start websites. (No doubt we have Brock to thank for that.) I wish he would, although I confess I'd probably spend much the same as Brock has: about $10k on the site, and the rest of it (in my case) on really good booze.
Media Matters fancies itself as the liberal answer to the Media Research Center. But as James Taranto noted today, "Brock's new shop is devoted to faulting conservative opinion journalists for expressing conservative opinions. What the Media Research Center does is entirely different; it analyzes liberal bias in the news media, which are supposed to be objective."
Not that this business with Linda Chavez isn't confusing, and perhaps embarrassing. Did she lie or did she merely mispeak on Fox News the other day when asked about referring to John Kerry as a communist sympathizer? Did she misunderstand the question? Beats me. She's going on Franken tomorrow to talk about it. But according to the press release I got from Chavez's outfit, " She will be discussing her most recent column, 'John Kerry: Communist Sympathizer.'" So it looks like she's solidly in the "Kerry-as-com-symp" camp. Not that it will matter much. You either agree with Linda Chavez or you don't, but Dan Rather she ain't, and she's never pretended to be. And that's what the personalities at Air America and David Brock don't seem to understand.
Ted Rall, as if you didn't know already.
MSNBC explains why it pulled Rall's cartoon earlier today.
Nothing yet on Rall's blog, to which I will not link. Nothing yet on the Majority Report's blog. Nothing on Atrios. Nothing on Kos.
Today's Bleat and Sunday's Backfence tell the story of James Lileks's quest for a cell phone and plan that will allow caller ID to display distinct names for different phone numbers on the same account.
Fortunately, James is a Mac user. This is do-able with a PC, as well, but it's groovier on a Mac, to be sure. Here's the scoop, for James and anyone else who wants to know when people they know are calling them without having to memorize their names:
At the most basic level, you can do this within the phone itself. In the case of almost every cell phone on the market right now, when you put a person into your address book, and that person calls you, the phone displays not the telco's caller ID information, but the name that you've mapped that number to in your address book. But that's chump change - you don't want to have to manually enter all of that crap into your phone's address book, and you want something cooler than just their name to come up.
Enter Apple iSync and Symbian OS. If you visit this page, you will see a list of devices that can sync information with Apple's Address Book application via iSync. If you scroll to the bottom, there is a chart showing which devices sync which information. The first two lines are "Nokia Series 60 Smartphones" and "Sony Ericsson P800 and P900". These phones support the largest number of iSync features.
With one of these phones, you can synchronize address book information AND map thumbnail pictures to your address book entries. This means that when Mrs. Lileks calls Mr. Lileks, her name will appear, along with her picture, stirring in James's heart those feelings of affection he experiences every time he sees her. Additionally, most of these phones also allow you to map a unique ring tone and/or song to each address book entry, so he'll know before he even picks up the phone that she is calling.
Now, which one to pick? You've got to balance the issues of size, coverage, carrier, cost, etc. I use a Nokia 3650, which is a freaking boat anchor. At the time I bought it (almost a year ago) it was the only option that included bluetooth and iSync support and also got good coverage. Sony Ericsson makes smaller phones, but I have several co-workers who use or have used these phones and the coverage isn't nearly as good as Nokia's. The new Nokia 6600 appears to have a good balance. It's much smaller than the 3650, and includes bluetooth support, full iSync support, a built-in camera, and works on T-Mobile's network.
Of course, I don't spend much time in Minneapolis, so mileage may vary. T-Mobile may have great coverage in the Twin Cities, and if so, then the smaller Sony Ericsson phones may be just the ticket.
Verizon has great plans and really excellent coverage, but they have very few iSync-compatible phones. Just Motorola stuff that must be synced over a USB cable instead of wirelessly via bluetooth. If you're syncing with a PC and don't mind being tethered, then one of Verizon's phones and plans may be for you, but for bleeding-edge bluetooth and Mac users like myself, it just won't do.
Now, NONE of these solve the problem of caller ID on a land line. If James wants his bride to know when he is calling their home from his cell phone, or when she is calling his office from her cell phone, he's still stuck. Whatever the carrier puts in there, is in there. This blows, and unfortunately the answers to this problem are not nearly as simple.
...it turns out he's a fan of The Smiths.
It's just one more small piece of evidence that Colonel Slanders should leave music commentary to ANYONE else on his blogroll.
Ah, the reprimand. Let's hope it was a STERN reprimand. Because we all know that a stern reprimand is exactly the kind of thing that is required when your soldiers are involved in torture.
Looks like the current excuse is "just following orders". I seem to remember how well that excuse went over at Nuremberg.
I saw "The Passion of the Christ" again this afternoon, this time with my mom (who wanted to see it) and my wife (who really didn't). I concluded from the experience that one viewing was enough. My wife concluded that once was certainly too much. My mom wants to get it on DVD, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.
I read Roger Ebert's review just now, for the first time. These two paragraphs capture my impression of the film:
What Gibson has provided for me, for the first time in my life, is a visceral idea of what the Passion consisted of. That his film is superficial in terms of the surrounding message -- that we get only a few passing references to the teachings of Jesus -- is, I suppose, not the point. This is not a sermon or a homily, but a visualization of the central event in the Christian religion. Take it or leave it....
Is the film "good" or "great?" I imagine each person's reaction (visceral, theological, artistic) will differ. I was moved by the depth of feeling, by the skill of the actors and technicians, by their desire to see this project through no matter what. To discuss individual performances, such as James Caviezel's heroic depiction of the ordeal, is almost beside the point. This isn't a movie about performances, although it has powerful ones, or about technique, although it is awesome, or about cinematography... or music... It is a film about an idea.
I know every single one of you has had this URL forwarded to you in your e-mail about a dozen times by now, but just in case you have web access but no e-mail (yeah, that's why), here's the link. Keep reading, because it improves as it goes along.
