Infinite Monkeys
"...a sparkly blog..." - James Lileks"Read them only with extreme caution."- Hugh Hewitt
Infinite Monkeys...that these guys evidently get more traffic than we do?
Update: Oh, great. Their site is back up. For the love of Jebus, don't click on that link. I wouldn't want to encourage them.
I just read that AMC theaters refuses to screen a new documentary called "The Aristocrats."
I can't imagine why not.
If you haven't seen Eric Cartman tell the joke (it's only been floating around the Internet for a year), here's the link. Not work safe. Not home safe. In fact, forget I mentioned it.
Apparently, Air America was involved in some odd financial transactions (some dare call it money laundering) with a non-profit organization.
The sordid business, such as it is, is explained here, here, and here. Lame rebuttal from the prime suspects here.
(Update: Ah, good! Brian Maloney chronicles the response from the left side of the 'sphere. Better him than me.)
With the exception of a Washington Times editorial, and the previously linked NY Daily News piece, I've seen nothing much in the garden-variety press. Liberal bias, or one big yawn? Beats me, man. I wasn't paying very close attention in the first place.
But what surprises me about this story, frankly, is that Air America is still on the air. Didn't they fire, like, half of their talent? The wrong half, if you ask me... I guess they're doing OK in L.A. Not losing audience, but not exactly burning up the airwaves, eh?
I really don't give a crap... I just wanted to post something with lots of links.
No, you can't just spout off with any old assertion and say, "It's just my opinion." And, contrary to popular belief, these things just don't "write themselves." NY Times Op-ed Editor David Shipley explains in Sunday's edition some of what goes into editing op-eds.
My rejoinder to the wife the next time she complains about how messy my home office is.
Indeed, much, much worse.
If you knew my mom, this would be even stranger. Here I am, sitting at home, cooling my Tour de France* decompresion via full immersion in the new Harry Potter experience when the phone rings.
"I don't know who else to call. You're the first one I'm calling." She proceeded to ask if I wanted to go with her tomorrow night to see the Eminem, 50 Cent, Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boys concert. And she wasn't asking me to go as a security measure; she just wanted someone to share the experience with, someone to reflect upon it with. "Uh, okay, Mom, let's go."
I had to make it clear that it would contain some vulgar elements and she responded, "Very vulgar. Yes, I know." She went on to explain that she has never regretted stepping outside of her peers' boundaries and attending a James Brown concert in Mississippi back in the 60's. (She swears she was the only white person there.) Of course, she wasn't connecting the implied sexuality of James Brown's material with the overt crudity that we can expect to accompany some of tomorrow night's acts. She seems to view Eminem as an enigmatic talent, and having been impressed with the movie 8 Mile, wants to get the vibe of his live performance amidst the modern hip hop milieu.
A report may follow.
*Three week's worth of virtual paralysis and DVR bliss. It was unbe-Tivo-lievable! If I wasn't watching, I was riding the wave of inspiration, getting in a tad over 490 miles of my own (including three races) during the span of the Tour. Robb has urged me to post the race reports I've typed up for my team. That may happen, if for no other reason than to get back in the habit of posting.
Congratulations are in Order. A new baby blogger is born. Chad the Elder of Fraters Libertas announces the addition of new member of the Fraters family. Welcome to Nathaniel, Son of Chad.
Am I too optimistic to hope that we will now see some sober, thoughtful analysis from the inebriates at Fraters? My guess? Little Nathaniel gets into his first hockey fight first.
Congratulations to Papa Elder and the Lovely Mrs. Elder. They'll gonna be great parents.
So it looks like Hugh Hewitt overpaid* for his website design again. But that's not the worst of it.
Check out the blogroll.
We're out of the family.
We should have known something was up when the Monkeys didn't receive our usual machine-signed card at Christmas. But I don't think any of us ever imagined it would come to this.
Now, let the recriminations begin.
I, for one, blame Ex-Monkey Ben. That guy would post five, six, seven times a day. Sometimes more. Then he split. Worse, he was right. He will pay for his disloyalty. And his prescience.
I also blame Monkeystein. Where is that guy anyway? Probably reading Girls are pretty.
While I'm at it, I blame David, Brad, and Rob-with-two-b's. Asses all!
As for JamesPh, the less said the better.
I also blame those drunks at Fraters Libertas. Radio gave them the big heads. Especially Atomizer, the gin fiend.
As for Hugh, he can expect 50 percent fewer lauditory links. Ingrate.
P.S. Needs more yellow.
* Because Hugh's archives were totally hosed when I composed this, I had to find the reference I was looking for cached on Google. So click on the link and scroll down.
I was kind of hoping for "Foghorn," but I guess we have to settle for Windows Vista. For some reason this makes me think of "Windows Sunset."
Actually, the first thing it made me think of was Seinfeld:
"Do you mean to tell me, that there isn't one condo, in all of DEL BOCA VISTA?!?!"
In particular, as I enter my 35th year: I wish I had been more productive in my 20s. I regret having not travelled very much. I really wish I could grow a beard like Johannes Brahms.
The New York Times reminds me how fortunate I am in that I live far, far away from the Monkey Boys:
Something else happened during that chaotic scene, something that convinced Chen of the monkeys' true grasp of money. Perhaps the most distinguishing characteristic of money, after all, is its fungibility, the fact that it can be used to buy not just food but anything. During the chaos in the monkey cage, Chen saw something out of the corner of his eye that he would later try to play down but in his heart of hearts he knew to be true. What he witnessed was probably the first observed exchange of money for sex in the history of monkeykind. (Further proof that the monkeys truly understood money: the monkey who was paid for sex immediately traded the token in for a grape.)
And honeslty, can anyone doubt these are our Monkeys?: Possessing "a small brain, and it's pretty much focused on food and sex . . . a bottomless stomach of want . . . you can feed them marshmallows all day, they'll throw up and then come back for more.''
Yes, when the Monkeys did finally learn the value of a dollar, they "responded quite rationally to simple incentives; responded irrationally to risky gambles; failed to save; stole when they could; used money for food and, on occasion, sex."
Thems our Monkeys.
Molly Ivans shows how.
Update: Her name is "Ivins." I am so sorry.
Okay, time for some folks to admit that Lawrence O'Donnell was right about the Karl Rove thing.
Not that it matters, or anything. Just amusing.
Drudge is reporting that Senator John McCain said the following at a Dallas fundraiser:
During the campaign, President Bush said he will appoint judges who will strictly interpret the constitution... thinking anything else is either amnesia or ignorance... elections have consequences... whomever he nominates deserves an up or down vote and no filibuster... and an up or down vote is what we will have...This doesn't surprise me. I've always argued that McCain is more conservative than George W. Bush, and I hope he continues to be a strong voice in this fight. I suspect that McCain's support of the "Deal" was always driven by keeping his eyes on the real prize--the Supreme Court of the United States.
Friday the International Olympic Committe canceled baseball and softball as Olympic sports! At first, like any true blue, red blooded American, I was pissed! Damn commie pinko bastards! Sonsabitches cancel Baseball?! BASEBALL!
Then I read that softball great Lisa Fernandez (Three Gold Medals) laments"
I feel one person, the president of the IOC, a person from Europe, has taken it upon himself to ruin the lives of millions, actually billions of women.
Millions? Billions? Lives ruined? Oh, please. Now I don't care.
There once was a time - before my time - when "Victory is the only option" following an attack didn't have to be said. It was assumed. Maybe that's why the editorial "British Steel" in the Press-Enterprise seemed so, well, surprising.
What is required now is not soul-searching or retreat, but steely resolve to defeat and destroy the terrorists.
But can we avoid the inevitable soul-searching and navel gazing that is sure to follow? Just look at the media frenzy over the imagined "abuses" at Gitmo. Or the self-flagellation over a crew of misfits on the night-shift at Abu Ghraib. These are the more important stories in the War on Terror. If we could muster as much outrage over a terrorist attack as the supporters of terror do over false allegations of a desecrated book, I think we'd be okay. But I have my doubts.
"We shall not flag nor fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France and on the seas and oceans; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our island whatever the cost may be; we shall fight on beaches, landing grounds, in fields, in streets and on the hills. We shall never surrender and even if, which I do not for the moment believe, this island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, will carry on the struggle until in God's good time the New World with all its power and might, sets forth to the liberation and rescue of the Old."
Winston Churchill
Speech before Commons
(June 4, 1940)
"Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival."
First Statement as Prime Minister, House of Commons, (May 13, 1940)
"We will have no truce or parlay with you, or the grisly gang who work your wicked will. You do your worst - and we will do our best."
Speech to the London County Council, (July 14, 1941)
I haven't heard anyone say it yet, but it's interesting to contrast the attacks with the Live8 concert. Watch what people say. I think it's absolutely striking how different in motive and operation these two events were; both were meant to influence policy. One, for all its failings and egos, affirmed art and life; the other celebrated death. Cynics could argue that neither will have much of a chance of really changing policy, but the spririts of each were so different that this is absurd. One was selfish, the other meant to help others. Watch for some hard-core lefties to miss this point, and say that both highlight the need to help the desperate. Ignore those idiots. Live8 might have seemed like lefty idealism, but it was idealism deeply rooted in classical Western values.
I'm reminded of something William F. Buckley used to say during the Cold War; to paraphrase for modern circumstances: saying there is moral equivalence between Western governments and terrorists is like saying that someone who pushes an old lady out of the way of an oncoming bus and someone who pushes an old lady in front of an oncoming bus are both people who push old ladies around.
I'm not going to try to find anything positive about today's barbaric attacks. Some might say that this raises awareness in Europe of the danger, or changes the political dynamic around Guantanamo, but I think the people who were going to "get it" got it a long time ago. Even minds do change, the tragedy dwarfs everything.
This is the worst bombing in London since the Blitz. Those attacks, and subsequent attempts in other wars to break the will of a country with targeted civilian killings, were terrible failures. Terrorism is a losing strategy by losers, and so the question is not whether we will win, but at what cost. The greater our will, the firmer our resolve, the more effective we will be. I am amazed it has been four years since 9/11, when most of us expected a "new reality" with attacks like this monthly. Instead, they have been closer to yearly. I do believe the credit for this goes to the resolve of Blair and Bush.
I've been working in Anaheim a couple of days per week for the last month or so. Hopefully, this will be my last week here. I say "hopefully" because it would mean the project was completed without significant trouble, not because I don't enjoy spending July in Orange County rather than Phoenix, the land of blazing mid-summer heat.
Current Song: "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung
Current Drink: J. T. Schmid's India Pale Ale
I'm having dinner and beers at a grill & brewpub called "J. T. Schmid's" on Katella & CA-57, right across from the Arrowhead Pond, where the Mighty Ducks play hockey, and just a stone's throw away from Edison Field. I don't like American League baseball, by and large, but I do like the Angels. If all goes well tomorrow at work, I'm going to reward myself with a trip to the ballpark tomorrow night.
As you can see above, the music is awful here, but everything else is good. They brew their own beer here, and the IPA is hoppy & bitter, just as it should be. It also packs a punch - 6.9% alcohol content. Fortunately, my hotel is literally right across the street (Schmid's actually provides room service there) so I can enjoy that extra beer or two.
I ordered the "Chop House Burger," which I've had before. It's a 12 ounce burger, thick and juicy. It rivals the burgers at Houston's, which IMO are the best chain-restaurant hamburgers in existence. Instead of fries, I ordered asparagus, which they also do a good job with. On previous visits, I've also enjoyed their Fish & Chips. The only dish I have had that was sub-par is their Jambalaya, which was, for lack of a better word, way too "California" for my tastes. I mean, they put fresh chopped tomato on top. I can't imagine being served Jambalaya in some hole-in-the-wall outside of Baton Rouge with fresh tomatoes. More than likely, the sauce would have been simmering for about a week prior to my visit.
Current Song: Some contemporary R&B crap
The restaurant/bar is really nice here. There's a large patio outside where they frequently have live music. Inside, televisions encircle the dining area and bar. The large projection screen is showing the Dodgers-Rockies game live, and a couple of the smaller screens are showing a re-run of today's Angels-Twins game and some other sporting events. There are lots of booths, so I'm able to sit comfortably even though I'm by myself.
Dinner just got here - back in a minute...
I'm just going to stop reporting the songs, because they're all crap, and I don't know what most of them are, anyway.
Question: How much does it suck to be Todd Helton? He just hit his 22nd double of the season, and he's stuck playing for the NL West's equivalent of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. He's gotta be counting the days until he's a free agent like some prisoner in the movies, scratching them onto the wall of his locker.
The burger was excellent. I scarfed it down like I hadn't eaten in days. And the asparagus was cooked perfectly - tender, but not stringy. I'm still sipping my first beer, if that's any indication as to how good the meal was. Now I have to decide if I'm going to stick around, let my meal settle, and have one of their desserts.
A couple of weeks ago, I had dinner with the guy who (Lord willing and the creek don't rise) will be my boss in a few weeks' time. I'm not saying the name of the company I'll be joining, but their color scheme is the same as this weblog.
Timeout: Jessica Simpson is doing a HORRIBLE cover of an already wretched song, "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'". I guess this is from the "Dukes of Hazzard" movie soundtrack. Make it stop! Make it stop!
Okay, anyway, I'm having dinner here a couple of weeks ago, and my future boss orders this warm brownie & ice cream dessert that I was dying to try, but didn't. Tonight, I may give in. It looked fantastic. So the decision is: Beer #2, or Brownie.
I'm leaning toward the latter, because I've got some good booze back in my hotel room. My plane landed at SNA at 4:30pm today. Hint for travelers who are coming to the Los Angeles metropolitan area: Don't take a flight that will put you on the road at rush hour, if you can possibly avoid it. But, making lemonade, I decided to stop at the Santa Ana Wine Club and pick up some goodies. I got three bottles of wine (I'll list them when I get back to the hotel) and a bottle of Victory "Golden Monkey" ale. I couldn't resist, of course. It's a Belgian-style triple-fermented ale bottled under pressure with a champagne cork. And it has "monkey" in the name.
Dodgers just pulled off a nice double play in the bottom of the 8th. They're leading 9-3. This has been a really weird season for the NL West. I don't think anyone imagined at the end of last season that the San Diego Padres would be leading the division, or that the Giants would be in fourth place. The Diamondbacks and Dodgers have been trading off in the number two spot, with the D'Backs currently holding that position down. Pretty encouraging for a team that set a major league record for earliest numerical playoff elimination just last year.
Last night's Diamondbacks-Cardinals game was a good example of why I love the baseball, and particularly the "real" baseball that only the National League plays. Even in a game where you know before it starts who's probably going to win (the Cardinals have the best record in baseball this year, and have been positively dominant), you can still look forward to watching some truly exciting moments. Last night, it was pitcher Sean Estes hitting a solid triple when he came up to bat in the third inning, and getting knocked in on a sacrifice fly by Craig Counsell.
Okay, it's settled. Brownie with ice cream and coffee for me. Then back on Atkins tomorrow morning. :-)
That brings me back to the heat of Phoenix, and how to avoid it. We enjoyed a very mild spring this year, which means it didn't hit 100 until the middle of May. Unfortunately, it hit 110 about a week later. Things settle down for a June with highs in the mid 100's, which is very mild, believe it or not. But the last couple of weeks have been right around 110 every day. Fortunately, I've benefitted from the Providential confluence of good work and good in-laws. My wife's parents have a cabin in Pinetop, way up in the mountains around 7000 feet. So she and the girls headed up there about two weeks ago for some good weather. I was going to Orange County during the week, then I joined them for a couple of long weekends. So I got to miss out on the miserable weather, too.
Later this month, we'll be spending 10 days at Stormy Lake, just outside of Conover, Wisconsin, just about 15 minutes south of Land O' Lakes, Michigan. It's uninhabitable during the winter, but has some of the most beautiful summer weather you could ever imagine. 5-6 years ago, I was sitting in a fishing boat at dusk, and saw a bald eagle fly over the treeline, dip down to the lake, and fly away with a fish. I've lived in Arizona all of my life, so this was truly one of the most sublime moments I've ever experienced.
The Dodgers finished off the Rockies, and Houston beat the Padres, so the Dodgers will gain a full game in the NL West. I suppose it's too much to ask that the Diamondbacks would beat the Cardinals.
This brownie is gigantic. Round, over two inches thick, and about six inches in diameter. Served with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream and topped with chocolate syrup and whipped cream. The only thing I'd change would be to replace the syrup with thick fudge, like they use on a similar dessert at Black Angus. The coffee's not great, but it's not bad, either. Goes well with the dessert.
Current song: I don't know the title, but it's that "Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend that I had in February of last year..." song. Brad would know. He knows what all the hip kids are listening to these days. I'm clueless.
Brad's been very helpful keeping me in touch with the new music. A couple of weeks ago, he came over and we watched and listened to a bunch of new stuff. We watched the video for "Evil" by Interpol, which was really cool. I wound up getting both of their albums from eMusic. I also got the new Brian Eno album, which is great. eMusic rocks.
Time for the check. More navel-gazing back in the room...
As I said, it would be too much to ask for the D-Backs to actually win tonight. They lost, 2-1, to the Cardinals. Boo.
One more baseball comment: Cheers to Curt Schilling, who has volunteered to pitch out of the bullpen for the Red Sox. Classy move.
Alright, that's enough babbling from me. 'Night all.
Today's Team Time Trial. Well, not by me -- by the pro's at Daily Peloton. I say "pro's" but it's not homogenized and sterile. It really is just like live blogging, but without the timestamps.
In other TdF matters, I have to explain how this blog got mentioned on Hugh Hewitt's show today. Just like last year, Hugh has taken to firing off breaking updates of Lance Armstrong's status in the day's Tour stage. Last year, Hugh was receptive to my chastisement over giving these updates without any warning, and he eventually began announcing that he was about to give a "spoiler" of the day's outcome. See, the race stages are run as early of 3:30am our time, but most Americans don't get to see the replay of the event until that evening after work.
But this year, Hugh's response to my chiding was "How long does it take to turn down the radio? Are you in a cast?"
Well, without warning, it can take fewer than ten words to blow it for someone before they even know what's being said. Now, I'm not arguing the point for myself. This year I've armed myself with Tivo and yet another (damn you, Cox!) subscriber upgrade so I can watch the day's race stage before I open my eyes or ears to any other media for the day. I'm thinking of those cycling fans who are at work or out on a project, somewhere out of reach of the radio knob, who would hate to have their evening's viewing robbed of its glorious tension.
After our exchange, Hugh came back to air lauding his show's commitment to delivering breaking news, and reprised his report on Armstrong's day at the races, and the results of some other American riders. Meanwhile, I was home shuddering like Side Show Bob.
Ironically, Hugh spent the last 40 minutes of his program discussing and complaining about MTV and VH1's "ruining" of Pink Floyd's Live 8 performance (see two posts down). Yeah, that just sucks when somebody blows your enjoyment of a unique event, doesn't it, Hugh?
I miss the solemnity. I miss the patriotic readings. I've had that for the last few years. And in the last two years, I've had the patriotism mixed with a bit of good old-fashioned American anarchy -- a river of booze and an arsenal of fireworks legal and illegal. But, I confess, it's not the same this year. It's all anarchy and very little patriotism. There are the obligatory flags, and some patriotic apparrel. Beyond that? Not much.
MTV's coverage of Live8 was horrible. I'll blog about it more later, but having just watched (on Tivo) MTV interrupt Pink Floyd's set so we could watch a couple of idiots talk about how great it is that Pink Floyd is performing, I'm a little too furious to comment. I listened to it on AOL yesterday, which would have been OK if they had supported the Mac (instead, I had to hook up an old PC laptop, and then find out that I had to use IE instead of Firefox). I'll try watching AOL video later, but I suspect it's also not Mac friendly...
Power Line responded to the O'Connor retirement with a simple one-line post titled, "Let the Games Begin." D'oh! I was going to do almost the same thing, but with the more sci-fi geek savvy title, "So it begins."
I'll have to fall back on a more oblique line: Don't stand in front of the fan. I tell ya', I think the arguments that the Gang of 14 compromise had its benefits are going to be swept away in the havoc wrought by not having changed the Senate rule on filibusters when the opportunity and momentum were there.
