Infinite Monkeys
"...a sparkly blog..." - James Lileks"Read them only with extreme caution."- Hugh Hewitt
Infinite MonkeysH. L. Monkey casually sends out his Amazon wish list to everyone he knows or has in his address book (Hmm, I wonder how many porn spamers have th H.L. Monkey Wish List) and it makes me feel like a cretin. Not that I need his wish list to feel like a cretin, but once you get past Talladega Nights and Nacho Libre, it's pretty impressive.
In any event, screw you, monkey boy! If you think a subtle comment with a link to your wish list is gonna work, you've bumped your head.
Take a break and a short walk through an unfamiliar neighborhood. Not a completely unknown neighborhood. Just someplace you may not have visited since, oh... middle school. The controversy, the praise, the ascii-art horns, the grammar, the one that goes to eleven. I bring you: the iTunes comments for Ozzy Osbourne's Blizzard of Ozz!
So, we saw "Happy Feet" yesterday. It's a strange film. It begins as "March of the Penguins" meets "Grease" and then quickly becomes something... else. It's Elmer Gantry. It's a quest movie. Then it's "The Shawshank Redemption". Then it gets stupidly political. Yet, somehow, I sort of enjoyed it. I felt ... I felt like... dancing!
Well, not really.
Michael Medved really hated "Happy Feet". I agree with several of his observations, without buying into his conclusion. "Happy Feet" is incoherent, but not bad. It's pretentious, but relatively harmless. It's political, but dumb.
Medved is wrong on a couple of details, however:
Well, no. The first menacing thing the birds see is an excavator. But it is true that a church appears in an unlikely place. Strange.
No. It's "The Great 'Guin." As in Penguin. Get it?
No. She's unattached. (Remember, penguins are monogamous.) She tells Mumble they are music teachers. The Fat Penguin teaches rhythm. She teaches the blues. And Mumble sent Gloria away because he did not want to subject her to the risks of the journey he was undertaking... seeking the "aliens."
These are hardly points worth warring over. But I think Medved goes too far. "Happy Feet" is not a kids' movie. The PG rating should tell parents that much. But it is not as insidious as Medved suggests.
The evidence mounts by the day, with stupid policies and rules of engagement precluding victory or lesser euphemisms. Today's appalling evidence of looming defeat comes courtesy of the Christian Science Monitor (via Jihad Watch):
Pursuit in mosques is forbidden without the presence of Iraqi Army units. Marines say some of Fallujah's 76 mosques are used to hide weaponry. Some broadcast messages such as, "God help us defeat the Americans.""Many would ask: What other war would we allow the enemy to broadcast calls for our defeat, for the sake of cultural sensitivity?" says [USMC Major Jeffrey] O'Neill.
What indeed? Some empire.
...I thought turkeys could fly."
(Hat tip: Laurel Krahn)
How about one for the road?
(Missed this in The Atlantic last month. Late night Thanksgiving reading... it's good for something. The tryptophan hasn't gotten me yet!)
They eat dinner with... er, gusto in San Bernardino.
"In one incident, a heavily inebriated man threw his son through a plate-glass window. The father then wanted to fight sheriff's deputies."
By all means, read the whole thing.
And now... the great turkey deep fry fiasco! Don't try this at home!
Happy Thanksgiving reading...
Now if you will excuse me, I need to put out a fire in the kitchen...
I must confess that economics always made my hair hurt, so I never developed as deep an appreciation of Milton Friedman as Monkey David did, but there is no denying his brilliance and (hopefully) lasting influence.
I did want to link to this very enjoyable interview of "Milton and Rose" by Tunku Varadarajan published on Opinion Journal's site. Seems like a wonderful couple.
Short Friedman bio.
Reports are that Milton Friedman has died.
This is a very sad day for me. Reading Milton Friedman changed my life--I changed my major to economics, and my politics became (and remain) free market. He was 94, but as recently as a few months ago was still loving debate.
My thoughts are with his wife Rose and their family.
How can people enjoy this? I just don't get it.
In REAL sports news, huge congratulations to Arizona Diamondbacks ace hurler Brandon Webb for winning the NL Cy Young award.
Dean Barnett posed a fair question to Republican aspirants to the congressional leadership. "What books have you read about Islamic terrorism against America and the West?"
The answers, as Barnett reports, were discouraging.
"I find it almost inconceivable that our most highly ranking elected officials are so intellectually incurious that they haven’t bothered getting themselves up to speed on the most pressing issue of our day."
Our friend Dean is too kind. Perhaps the operative word in the previous paragraph is "almost." I am not surprised in the least that the upper echelon (such as it is) of Republican leadership does not read more than the briefs their able staffers place under their noses. Who has the time, what with all the fundraising and gladhanding?
With that in mind, here is a list of must-read books for Republican staffers. Maybe a bit of wisdom will filter up to their bosses...
For advanced students:
Oh, and, of course, the Koran, the Hadith and the Sunna. But that really should go without saying. Shouldn't it?
I finally got Direct TV to my house to install the system (scheduled: between 8am-12noon; actual artrival: 2:00 pm).
The bastards had previously unilaterally canceled my installation without telling me because the HD DVR was not available.
So it's installed.
But I can't get the DVR to record. I e-mail Direct TV and ask what-up? They say I cannot use the DVR because I didn't subscribe to the service.
No, I explain patiently, I am looking at the order, and my online account, and confirming e-mail, and they all say I subscribed to the DVR service. So try again.
Thanks for writing us back about your DIRECTV equipment. I'm so sorry to hear about the problem and for any confusion and inconvenience this matter may have caused you. I found on your account that as of now you have a regular HD H20 equipment and is not capable of recording like the DVR. However, I found that you also had an HD DVR order but is not active yet. I just wanted to let you know that I have forwarded your email to a specialist who will contact you within the next few days to help you on this matter.
Seems clear, right? Well, no. I write back:
I am confused. I still have the box that the receiver came in when it was installed. The box is a DIRECTV Plus HD DVR. I also have the manual and quick start quide for the HD DVR. You're telling me it is not a DVR?
Obviously, I must be stoopid, right? I mean honestly, just because it says it's a DVR on the box, what the hell does that mean? Nothing, obviously:
Thanks for writing us back. I apologize for any confusion this issue has caused. Upon review of your account, I found that there is no DVR nor a DVR service on your account. We have not charged for any DVR service for $5.99. Currently, you have the HD receiver and it is not a DVR and does not have a recording feature. Our HD DVR is not yet available right now. These new receivers have been more popular than we expected them to be and, unfortunately, we don’t have enough to meet the demand. Due to the unprecedented demand we have created a waiting list for the HD DVR at directv.com/hddvr, just click on “Priority Registration” for more details and you can put yourself on the list to get the first chance to see the future of television.
You see, I don't think they're reading my e-mail . They are insisting that what I am looking at in my living room does not exist. So I ask:
I understand that I am being told that I do not have a DVR receiver. If that is true, then I am curious as to why
1. The box the receiver came in says it is DIRECTV Plus HD DVR
2. The quick start guide that came with the receiver is for an HD DVR
3. The owner's manual is for an HD DVR
4. The remote control is for a DVR
4. The receiver itself is labeled DirecTV + HD DVR. (It says it is a DVR)
You see why I am confused? And why I am just beginning to hate Direct TV? Can someone explain to me how something that walks like a duck, talks like a duck, quacks like a duck and has a sign plastered on its butt that says I AM A DUCK is not a duck?
Vox Day directed me to the above link, authored by Michael Medved, Salem radio's most egotistical talk show host (which is saying a lot, considering Mike Gallagher and Bill Bennett both broadcast on SRN.) He spends the article whining about how two Republican senate races were lost due to third party candidates, then advocates measures to eliminate "fringe" candidates from general election ballots, as if the system isn't already ridiculously biased in favor of the two major parties.
Well, I've got two things to say: First of all, I couldn't be more pleased that the balance of power in the Senate was shifted due to a Libertarian's candidacy. Next to winning, being a spoiler is a delightful accomplishment. Second, there are other much more reasonable ways to allow all candidates to run while avoiding the events that took place in Virginia and Montana. Two that jump right to the top of my head are runoff elections whenever a candidate gets less than 50% of the votes and Single Transferrable Vote.
So stop your whining, Movie Man.
As in neo-Confederate. Matt Peterson at the Claremont Institute dismantles Webb's odd paean to the Sons of the South. The Old Dominion's Senator-elect has much to commend him, and I suspect his heterodox views might make him an unpredictable vote. But it seems to me that Tom Toles should be a little red in the face today. And I cannot help but recall the fits of apoplexy that erupted among Democrats when John Ashcroft said dumb but mild things about the Lost Cause.
Where's the outra...? Ah, to hell with it.
A friend, and some friends of that friend here in the Phoenix area recently got the full linkage experience with a worthy clever post. Congrats, Jon, Steve, Kevin, and Todd.
Check out the Exurban League, fresh voices on the intertube. Except that Todd guy. He may as well be a Mönkey.
I went to PetSmart today to get some cat food, and of course checked out the cats up for adoption. One caught my eye because he looked like my cat, but after he woke up (and started rubbing against the glass--this is a seriously social cat) I wished I could take him home. Of course, while I'd like to anthropomorphize the cats and believe that they would see that they look like brothers, and great each other with love and understanding, I suspect that my cat would attack him and while at first the other cat would be bewildered by the toothless gumming he was receiving, it would end badly.
Anyway, if you want a cat who is like my great cat but with teeth (and extra toes) and you live in Phoenix, please check out Yogi (named because--seriously--his paws look like catcher's gloves with the extra toes).
I like Michael Steele, and Michael Steele likes puppies.
Open letter to the people of Maryland:
You suck. Your mothers suck. Your fathers suck. The University of Maryland Sucks. I'm glad the Colts moved to Indianapolis. And Edgar A. Poe is vastly over-rated.
Screw You Maryland.
Michael Steele likes puppies.
What she said.
Annika of Annika's Journal with a harsh appraisal of Tuesday's bloodbath. I think I agree. I don't want to, but I think I do.
If you haven't upgraded to Firefox 2.0, don't. It's unstable on the Mac, and downright horrible (full lock-up at least once per day--whole system, no ctrl-alt-del) on the PC. No wonder the IE team sent a cake.
Sometimes you think you just need an upgrade, but then you realize what you changed to isn't an upgrade at all.
Just one thing to look forward to now that the Dems are in control.
All 164 registered voters in the state of South Dakota turn out. Hilarity ensues.
Last night I went to see Blue Man Group instead of hovering over election coverage. Afterwards there was a sax-playing busker outside who had painted himself red. Blue over red, 3-to-1. Fitting.
Just heard that Rummy has stepped down. Robb must be giddier than when he learned of Colangelo's and Eisners' departures.
Kind of makes you miss Dan Rather's metaphors for close races:
VA SEN [100% IN]
R- ALLEN 1,140,879 49.42%
D- WEBB 1,143,144 49.44%
Kind of.
Recount coming up...
UPDATE: Barone says there are still 4 precincts to count, plus potential absentee ballots.
By the way, the numbers I have above are gone from Drudge and the Virginia.gov website...
If MO and MT go Democrat (and they probably will), then VA decides it...
I was just in the car, and heard J. D. Hayworth telling Hugh Hewitt that he was behind by 8% and things aren't looking good for him.
So long, J.D.! Don't let the door hit you on your fat, Abramoff-lined pocketbook on the way out.
I don't want to count my chickens too early, but it looks like Sweet Sweet Gridlock might just be returning to Washington. Not that I bothered to vote.
I wrote Santorum off a long time ago, but if Kean loses in NJ (as Fox projects), it's a sad one...but the Senate race I'd most like to see go to the GOP is Maryland.
Dan Rather on The Bob & Tom Show pimping his new news show on HDNet (which, what, three people will see?) describes his leaving CBS as then newtwork deciding to go a different direction than the old Edward R. Murrow tradition.
Hey, Dan?
You're still a liar.
Jerk.
I admit, I couldn't get past the first 10 pages of Harry Frankfurt's bestselling essay On Bullshit. It was too... pompous? Ridiculous? I don't know. Boring, in any event. But I can't help but admire the man for his marketing genius; a book with such a title was bound to sell huge. Frankfurt's latest book features a much more conservative title. As such, those of us who learned from Frankfurt's previous work are unlikely to buy it, let alone read it. We will, however, absorb the reviews. Bottomline? Back to your obscure hole, Harry!
It is not quite election day, but Stanley Kurtz's ears are burning.
As if you needed another reason to believe that the U.N. is full of hot, steamy crap:
So I stay home today for the delivery of my new big screen TV from Best Buy. Delivery time was to be between 1:00 pm and 3:00 pm. At 3:15, Best Buy calls me and says they are two hours behind schedule.
Amazing.
They were two hours behind schedule but did not know that until after my delivery time. Whatever. I'll wait.
Two hours later. Waiting. Waiting.
The phone rings. It's Best Buy. The truck is broken down.
Look, you morons, I have Direct TV coming tomorrow, which is why I wanted the TV today! Best Buy calls me back and says I'll have it tomorrow.
Cool.
I check with Direct TV to verify my installation (I'm looking at the confirming e-mail as I check).
Unscheduled.
WHAT??!!
The HD/DVR is on back-order so Direct TV apparently canceled my installation without notifying me.
Goddammit.
The Shock Jock just played Keith Olbermann's (most recent) tirade against President Bush. Goddamn, Olbermann is a raging, pompous, puckering A**hole.
Does anyone remember just how good Sportscenter used to be?
From the Jerusalem Post. Offered without comment:
A Saudi court has sentenced a gang rape victim to 90 lashes of the whip because she was alone in a car with a man to whom she was not married.
One of the most disappointing races this election cycle no doubt will turn out to be the race for Attorney General here in California. Having completely forgotten Governor Moonbeam and the momentous recall election of his pro-felon Supreme Court appointees, the people of this clueless state are poised on the brink of electing Attorney General Moonbeam. Moonbeam made a name for himself for, among other things, being a virulent opponent of the death penalty, along with opposing the Victims' Bill of Rights. If ever a man was uniquely unsuited for the office of Attorney General, it is Moonbeam.
So who endorses this fool? Sure, the police unions do. I would hope that by now people would realize that these endorsements reflect nothing more than the endorsement of organized labor, but no, I fear it will work.
Now the California Police Chiefs Association has endorsed Moonbeam. Other than Governor Arnold, these political hacks endorse an almost straight democrat ticket.
Like I said, shameful.
God I miss Ed Davis.
I don't think Kerry's Kinsley Gaffe will swing this election. But, man, it pissed me off, and his lame apology doesn't help.
Before the 2004 election, a friend of mine--a gay, not very political, and very drunk friend--wasn't happy about President Bush. But he said he would vote for him, on the theory that since Bush didn't have to run for re-election, he could finally get tough in Iraq and finish the job.
I do think what the voter want this year is people who will do a better job of winning in Iraq and getting the hell out, fighting terrorism, and protecting them if a hurricane hits. If they thought the Democrats would do that, the GOP would be losing dozens of seats in the House, and would be in big trouble in the Senate. As it is, it looks bad for the GOP, but not that bad--thanks in no small part to the attitude of people like Kerry.
Yes, of COURSE I'm talking about Microsoft.
Money quote: "If you're paying Microsoft to protect your computer, you're part of the problem, not part of the solution."
