Infinite Monkeys
"...a sparkly blog..." - James Lileks"Read them only with extreme caution."- Hugh Hewitt
Infinite MonkeysI haven't seen it yet, but millions around the world have. The Simpsons Movie is slated for $100 million world-wide opening weekend. It opened bigger than Transformers and is the 17th biggest opening day of all time -- right behind Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Good on Matt Groening and the boys. Four straight years of hard work -- keeping up the show schedule while working on the movie -- has paid off.
The AP reports that the MoveOn.org, the Campaign for America's Future and the Kos Kids are launching a campaign to bring down Fox News through a ridiculously transparent letter-writing campaign against those who advertise on the network. The idea, naturally, is to get companies to pull their ads on the "biased" network.
Says a spokeperson from one of the Fox News Channel's leading sponsors:
Home Depot has not had an unusual number of calls, said spokesman Jerry Shields, and the home improvement chain will not change its advertising strategy."We're not in the business of censoring media," Shields said. "We need to reach our customer base through all mediums available."
Home Depot is also not in the business of sending its stock prices plummeting by pulling its ads on what is (by far) the most-watched cable news network. Getting Democratic candidates to boycott Fox News is one thing. Getting a business to commit financial suicide is quite another. Of course, liberals are not known for their firm grasp on the "reality based" world of business.
John Edwards is fretting that a mysterious "they" want to shut him up. His proof? The media's focus on his $400 haircuts.
Granted, what Edwards pays for a haircut is a trivial matter -- or would be, if not for Edwards' theme of the "Two Americas" and his supposed dedication to fighting poverty. Since Edwards has enough money to buy a clue, but probably can't find it in the stores he frequents, I'll do the honors. One of those "two Americas," pal, pays $18 for a haircut at SuperCuts yet still manages to keep their self-esteem intact.
An expert from his unhinged and paranoid rant from the stump last week:
This stuff's not an accident. Nobody in this room should think this is an accident. You know, I'm out there speaking up for universal healthcare, ending this war in Iraq, speaking up for the poor. They want to shut me up. That's what this is about. "Let's distract from people who don't have health care coverage. Let's distract from people who can't feed their children.... Let's talk about this silly frivolous nothing stuff so that America won't pay attention."They will never silence me. Never.
If we don't stand up to these people, if we don't fight em, if we don't beat them, they're going to continue to control this country. Thye're going to control the media. They're going to control what's being said. They do not want to hear us talking about health care for everybody.
Yeah. Sure. Let's have that conversation about "universal health care." And if it's a real conversation -- in which people get to rebut Edwards -- we will happily never be cursed with it.
"I never had this problem with nobody in the government. I guess I always figured they never mean what they meant...
Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies."
Via BoingBoing: Origami Cthulhu!!!
"For God's sake, read the words and use your head! And don't be so goddamned obtuse! You aren't as dumb as you look."
Wow. Almost everything awful and soulless about late-70's/early-80's hard rock on display in a single evening.
On second thought, maybe Gitmo isn't such a bad place after all.
This can't be good news for Alberto Gonzales...
(Have I used this joke before? It feels familiar...)
About ten years ago, I attended a reformed theology conference out in Globe / Miami, Arizona. One of the speakers, a Phoenix-area pastor named Dan Cafesse, spent his session talking about the dangers "moralism" (defined largely as trying to impose Christian moral law through the use of the state, but also generally as the practice of Christians trying to get non-Christians to behave according to Christian moral standards) poses to the effective communication of the gospel. It was a profoundly affecting talk, and I have often found myself reflecting on (and agreeing with) the points that he presented.
I'm certain that I don't need to point out to anyone who reads this blog with any frequency that I'm a libertarian, and I would hope that I don't need to also inform readers that I'm a christian. That said, I think a lot of folks might be under the impression that the two systems are incompatible. Poking around the Reason Online website, I found this article from last month's issue. It's a review of an evangelical law professor's book that appears to delve into much the same territory explored by Rev. Cafesse in that sermon ten years ago. The review is worth a read, and it appears the book is, as well.
I'm a techie down to the marrow, so I have a lot of toys/tools that I use at home and on the road. I joke about my "Bat utility belt" laden with various communication and entertainment devices. But there are five gadgets I treasure above the others. Five things that give me the shakes when they're on the blink or otherwise unavailable.
1. iPod - So much more than just an expensive Walkman, my iPod makes travel tolerable, and along with its corresponding iTunes software has completely transformed the way I listen to music.
2. TiVo - As much as my iPod changed the way I listen to music, the same can be said about the transformation in my television consumption based on the arrival of my first TiVo about four years ago. I have plenty of complaints about TiVo's failure to advance during that time, but it still beats pretty much all of the competitors with which I've interacted.
3. MacBook - I've always hated Windows, but until I got my first Mac (a last-generation Titanium PowerBook loaded with OS X 10.2) I wasn't a Mac fan, either (big thanks to Monkey Brad and Father-in-Law Ron.) Now I can't live without it. My company-issued laptop is a perfectly functional IBM/Lenovo unit, but it was worth it to me to spend my own money on a first-generation MacBook and a copy of Parallels Desktop. I almost never even boot my company-owned machine.
4. Line 6 Variax guitar - I play guitar at church, and the different songs often call for very different guitars. Sometimes, it's even ideal to use an acoustic guitar during the verse and an electric during the chorus. My Variax, along with the complimentary Pod XT Live lets me do just that. While an expert might be able to tell the sonic difference from the "real thing" in a side-by-side comparison, when I'm "in the mix" with a full band playing music in church it is very much "close enough" and the convenience of switching on-the-fly far outweighs the modest sonic inferiority.
5. CPAP - I've always felt tired, but I never realized HOW constantly exhausted I was until I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea and received a CPAP machine about 18 months ago. The first time I went on a business trip WITHOUT my CPAP I appreciated it even more.
When I first saw A. Whitney Brown's hateful diatribe against the men and women in uniform, I was stunned. I had read some of the transcript and simply could not believe that someone who was once a mainstream performer could be so consumed by hatred as to be this unhinged. I actually thought the right-wing blogosphere had fallen for a hoax or was overstating what he said.
But then I saw the video. Yep, he said it. And he meant it.
So yes, I resent my support for the killing of Iraqis for which I get not even a memento or trophy. But do I still support the individual men and women who have given so much to serve their country?
No. I think they’re a bunch of idiots. I also think they’re morally retarded. Because they sign a contract that says they will kill whoever you tell me to kill. And that is morally retarded.
I was determined to post something on this tonight, but I cannot find the words to do this justice, as I fear I will simply lower myself to his level. Worse, are the numerous comments that agree with him and cheer him on. Wow.
The Daily Kos is now one of the power brokers behind the Democrat Party, and the party's candidates will appear at the Kos convention, but not at the Democrat Leadership Conference. Will any of them be asked about this by the media at a debate? Ever? Will the media dare ask a Dem candidate the same questions they ask of a Republican who appears at Bob Jones University? To ask that question is to know the answer, I suppose.
Doesn't it seem that the Left has just been chomping at the bit to go back to the good ol' days and just yell "baby killers" and get it over with?
In a Powerline post, the blogger formerly known as Deacon, tells us that Newt Gingrich is, god help us, still keeping open the possibility of a Presidential run.
NO! Bad Republican! Bad!
I suppose that if the Newtster got in, he might be one of my favorites, but he is damaged goods to a degree that I do not think is salvageable. Sure, the press was unfair to him (the "withering on the vine" nonsense, for one, the government shut-down for another), but the fact remains, Newt will NEVER be President. If you think he has a snowballs chance in hell, you are high and need to stop.
Newt is probably the only Republican with more baggage, however unjustly earned, than Hillary!. He can't F'n win!
Besides, sometimes he just seems too wonkish for me. Too much like a Philosopher King, without any moral foundation. But then that's just me, and I've been drinking.
The #1 spot was so easy, I figured it wouldn't be too hard to nail down the rest of the five worst duets in pop music history:
1. Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton - "Islands In The Stream"
2. Barbra Streistand & Barry Gibb - "Guilty"
3. Barry Manilow & K. T. Oslin - "Baby, It's Cold Outside" [double award - worst holiday duet]
4. Peter Cetera & Amy Grant - "The Next Time I Fall In Love"
5. Paul McCartney & Stevie Wonder - "Ebony and Ivory"
Every one of these songs sends shooting pain through both my eyeballs whenever I am forced to listen to them in a grocery store, elevator, or other hard-to-escape location.
I'm so glad the "enemy combatant" designation process is so foolproof.
BoingBoing posted this series of links to YouTube postings of a Talking Heads show from Rome in 1980, with Adrian Belew just tearing it up on lead guitar. Not to belittle the material from "Speaking in Tongues" but I sure wish "Stop Making Sense" had been filmed during this tour instead.
Belew had quite an amazing stint there - going from Zappa to Bowie to Talking Heads and finally King Crimson over the course of just a few years. A little over 10 years later, his KC bandmade Tony Levin had a similar run - playing bass/stick for Pink Floyd, Yes (actually Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe, but close enough), King Crimson, and Peter Gabriel over a like period of time. I think Belew got the better deal, musically speaking.
Honestly. I read this hysterical coverage of a goofy housewife who freaks out over a spent rocket launcher in her front yard and I think to myself, What's wrong with you people? Haven't you ever seen a disposable light anti-tank weapon before? We're at war, people! Gosh!
I mean, who among us doesn't have one?
I ask because he seems to speak freely with American journalists. Never a good idea.
Both are miserable failures. Yet somehow we cannot help but pay attention.
"As soon as I get out of this hospital bed, I'm coming after you with a hatchet."
I'm almost all settled in to my new home in Pasadena -- but I also have family visiting this week and am getting up to speed on my new job. So my blogging might still be spotty for a while longer. I'm very sorry to have missed the Monkey Summit. I'll definitely be there next year.
But I've seen lots of items over the past few weeks that I was dying to comment on and draw to yinz's attention -- almost all of them in my new paper, The LA Times (the publication Hugh Hewitt calls the worst major metro newspaper in the country. I'd agree with him 100 percent on political coverage, but they do have a lively "Calendar" section -- called the "Life" or "Style" section everywhere else in the country. Their sports section is just fair (too much smart-ass, not enough good writing). I'll get to the LA Times later. For now, the most mind-jarring nonsense I'd like to share is this asinine passage from the NY Times. It is an excerpt from a surprising story in that anti-war newspaper that actually outlines the progress the US military has made in Iraq and provides a clear explanation of the chaos that would erupt if we heed the Democrats' disgraceful call for surrender:
General Lynch said his troops had promised local people that they would stay in the areas they had taken from the extremists until enough Iraqi forces were available to take over, and said this had helped sustain “a groundswell” of feeling against the extremists. He said locals had pinpointed hide-outs of Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, an extremist group that claims to have ties to Osama bin Laden’s network, that had been used to send suicide bombers into Baghdad and they had helped troops locate 170 large arms caches. The general said the locals had started neighborhood patrol units called “Iraqi provincial volunteers” that supplied their own weapons and ammunition.
Well, yes. We're making great progress in Iraq -- progress that is vital if the US is to protect its national security and avoid a disaster that would make our Vietnam experience look like a moment of glory and wisdom. But to describe terrorist killers as "extremists"? I would think even that is too much for the NYTimes, yet they use that term throughout the piece. Disgraceful.
And also note the reference to "Mesopotamia." Not only does that ape the language of our enemy, it invalidates the existence of Iraq and the noble attempts by brave patriots in that country to forge a unified and peaceful future.
But to posit, as the NYTimes does, that AQ in Iraq merely "claims" to have ties to bin Laden's network is the height of silliness. There have been -- what now -- at least two dozen communications between AQinI and bin Laden and his deputies in the Main Office ... er ... caves that have made the papers? How many times has AQ No. 2, Zawahiri, released videos detailing the symbiosis between the groups -- with such statements as "the warriors we have sent..." etc.?
Is it too much to ask the country's knighted "newspaper of record" to actually report true facts?
There are naked roofers in my pool.
It's not very effective to try to come on to your wife with a Mr. Garrison impression.
Making a good martini really is simple. Nonetheless, almost nobody gets it right. Leaving out those abominations made with vodka and various fruity flavorings, ordering "a martini" usually will get you a glass of cold low-grade gin fit only for peeling paint off your garage door.
Chad knows this. I really believe that. But recently, he experienced some sort of altitude-related breakdown that caused him to do the unthinkable.
We can forgive him this offense. I'll even let the snarky swipe against protestants slide. But let us all learn from his lesson.
Never been a big fan of Hugh Hewitt's buddy and "Smart Guy" guest, Duke law professor Erwin Chemerinsky. I can say I've actually developed a hearty dislike for this contemptible waste of human excrement, especially since his hateful rant against then California Supreme Court Justice Janice Brown. To me he has always been nothing more than a partisan hack.
Then I see a little blurb today in Best of the Web that Erwin is representing the parents of Rachel Corrie suing Caterpiller because their daughter jumped in front of an Israeli Cat bulldozer trying to bulldoze a home suspected of being a cover for a terrorist weapons smuggling tunnel. The dumbass didn't get outta the way of the Cat and got crushed. And now there's Erwin, so consumed with his own hatred he is pretending this case has something to do human rights violations.
According to Erwin, "This is a case about direct commercial sales . . . It's about holding corporations liable when they aid and abet violations of human rights."
No, Erwin, it's about you aiding and abetting terrorists and terrorist sympathizers.
Caterpillar sold Israel a bulldozer. Corrie would not get out of the way and the driver didn't see her, and in Erwin's fevered, hateful little brain, Caterpillar is violating human rights? Bullshit.
God I dislike him.
All right, I'll admit I wasn't particularly impressed by the iPhone's mobile phone capabilities, or its embedded iPod, or the fact that you can watch tiny videos on it.
But I might just have to buy one, now that I know that it will blend.
I like the Obama girl better, but this is not without its charms...
Oh, and I can't wait to see all the traffic we get from this post's title. Hello, perverts!
Not the best mash-up ever, but amusing in its own right. Sort of makes me want to watch "Holy Grail" again, actually...
I didn't do shit yesterday. Not a damn thing.
BUT.
I did manage to avoid even a passing glance at the Live Earth Gorebasm. Not one second.
I take my victories where I can.
Somebody help me here. Apparently our favorite shock joke has his panties all in a bunch over this article by Jim Geraghty at National Review Online.
Why?
Honestly, characterizing Geraghty's article on Romney as an off the rails broadside is, well, an off the rail broadside. Anyone who does not believe that Romney is going to have thse "quirks" thrown at him by the Dems should he be the GOP nominee is, at best, naive. Hugh knows electability is a real life concern (it's why Newt would not stand a chance), yet he seemingly will not allow any questioning of the electibility of his guy (and my guy too, until Fred! jumps in). Closing your eyes and ears to it won't make it go away. Nor will trying to shut people like Geraghty up by resorting to name calling. And ignoring these potential vulnerabilities now means not being prepared for them in a general election.
It's bad enough when the Left trots out the "racism" or "bigotry" card, but when we do it to ourselves, it is, as Hugh might suggest, "not helpful."
I am a late-comer to the genius of Bob Dylan. Embarassing. After grabbing a couple of well-known albums at the recommendation of a friend, I jumped in with both feet and bought Bob Dylan: The Collection from the iTunes Music Store. Pretty much everything he ever released (774 songs) for just $200. Hard to resist, and after spending a couple of months listening to the different releases, I'm very pleased with my purchase.
Even though such a list is probably the height of redundancy, as it's been awhile since I posted a "five perfect" list, I thought I'd throw out the five most perfect Dylan records, in order of release, and with two "standout" tracks listed for each record:
1963: The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan ("Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" and "Masters of War")
1965: Bringing It All Back Home ("Subterranean Homesick Blues" and "It's All Over Now, Baby Blue")
1965: Highway 61 Revisited ("Ballad of a Thin Man" and "Desolation Row")
1966: Blonde on Blonde ("Visions of Johanna" and "Stuck Inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again")
1975: Blood on the Tracks ("Tangled Up In Blue" and "Shelter From The Storm")
I'm sure to experienced Dylan fans, this list will seem like "the obvious choices" with no real surprises. What are your favorites?
I would have enjoyed this Wall Street Journal op-ed more had the byline been Eric Cartman rather than Ted Nugent. But how can you not love an opinion piece that starts (more or less) this way: "Forty years ago hordes of stoned, dirty, stinky hippies converged on San Francisco to 'turn on, tune in, and drop out,' which was the calling card of LSD proponent Timothy Leary. Turned off by the work ethic and productive American Dream values of their parents, hippies instead opted for a cowardly, irresponsible lifestyle of random sex, life-destroying drugs and mostly soulless rock music that flourished in San Francisco."
Also, there are several references to rock stars choking on vomit. Good stuff.
Independence Day is the time to trot out patriotic speeches. Calvin Coolidge's address on the 150th anniversary of the Declaration is unsurpassed in its eloquence and insight. Old Mencken never gave Cal the credit he deserved, although it's tough not to get a smile from the Sage of Baltimore's update of Jefferson's words.
Here's an except from Coolidge:
"About the Declaration there is a finality that is exceedingly restful. It is often asserted that the world has made a great deal of progress since 1776, that we have had new thoughts and new experiences which have given us a great advance over the people of that day, and that we may therefore very well discard their conclusions for something more modern. But that reasoning can not be applied to this great charter. If all men are created equal, that is final. If they are endowed with inalienable rights, that is final. If governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed, that is final. No advance, no progress can be made beyond these propositions. If anyone wishes to deny their truth or their soundness, the only direction in which he can proceed historically is not forward, but backward toward the time when there was no equality, no rights of the individual, no rule of the people. Those who wish to proceed in that direction can not lay claim to progress. They are reactionary. Their ideas are not more modern, but more ancient, than those of the Revolutionary fathers."
(Hat tip: Peter Schramm at No Left Turns.)
"Happy Fourth of July. May today be a day of love for all Americans. May this year's celebration be the day that changes the world forever. May Independence Day... truly be a glorious holiday as every American lives the self-evident truth that all people are created equal. God shed His grace on thee -- on each of thee -- in His self-evident love for all of us."
Especially if you are a mannequin. Or fruit.
Robb, I'm sure, will vomit repeatedly during the first few minutes of the Consumer Product Safety Commission video I've embedded below. I certainly did. My advice: Skip the bureaucratic nanny-state scolding and fast forward to 1:48 (or, 6:42 in the countdown). You'll be glad you did.
As should be the custom every year this day, we celebrate "the most memorable epocha in the history of America." Here is the text of John Adams' letters to Abigail on the occasion of the resolution to draft the Declaration of Independence. The letter he wrote the evening of July 3 should be read and re-read by every American -- especially this clown. Raise a glass to freedom and, like the man says, read the whole thing...
Philadelphia July 3d. 1776Had a declaration of independence been made seven months ago, it would have been attended with many great and glorious effects. We might, before this hour, have formed alliance with foreign states. We should have mastered Quebec, and been in possession of Canada.
You will, perhaps, wonder how such a declaration would have influenced our affairs in Canada; but, if I could write with freedom, I could easily convince you that it would, and explain to you the manner how. Many gentlemen in high stations, and of great influence, have been duped, by the ministerial bubble of commissioners, to treat; and, in real, sincere expectation of this event, which they so fondly wished, they have been slow and languid in promoting measures for the reduction of that province. Others there are in the colonies, who really wished that our enterprise in Canada would be defeated; that the colonies might be brought into danger and distress between two fires, and be thus induced to submit. Others really wished to defeat the expedition to Canada, lest the conquest of it should elevate the minds of the people to much to hearken to those terms of reconciliation which they believed would be offered to us. These jarring views, wishes, and designs, occasioned an opposition to many salutary measures which were proposed for the support of that expedition, and caused obstructions embarrassments, and studied delays, which have finally lost us the province.
All causes, however, in conjunction, would not have disappointed us, if it had not been for a misfortune which could not have been foreseen, and perhaps could not have been prevented – I mean the prevalence of the smallpox among our troops. This fatal pestilence completed our destruction. It is a frown of Providence upon us, which we ought to lay to heart.
But, on the other hand, the delay of this declaration to this time has many great advantages attending it. The hopes of reconciliation which were fondly entertained by multitudes of honest an well meaning, though short-sighted and mistaken people, have been gradually, and at last totally, extinguished. Time has been given for the whole people maturely to consider the great question of independence, and to ripen their judgment, dissipate their fears, and allure their hopes, by discussing it in newspapers and pamphlets – by debating it in assemblies, conventions, committees of safety and inspection – in town and country meetings, as well as in private conversations; so that the whole people, in every colony, have now adopted it as their own act. This will cement the union, and avoid those heats, and perhaps convulsions, which might have been occasioned by such a declaration six months ago.
But the day is past. The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epocha in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations, as the great Anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the day of deliverance by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp, shews, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations, from one end of the continent to the other, from this time forward forever.
You will think me transported with enthusiasm; but I am not. I am well aware of the toil, and blood, and treasure, that it will cost us to maintain this declaration, and support and defend these states. Yet, through all the gloom, I can see the rays of light and glory; I can see that the end is more than worth all the means, and that posterity will triumph, although you and I may rue, which I hope we shall not.