Infinite Monkeys
"...a sparkly blog..." - James Lileks"Read them only with extreme caution."- Hugh Hewitt
Infinite MonkeysWhen browsing icanhascheezburger.com sometimes certain entries seem to call out the names of people you know.
Monkey David?
MonkeyRobbL?
H.L. Monkey?
MonkeyBrad?
AnonyMonkey?
Dr. Zaius?
Dr. Monkeystein?
JamesPH?
And we thought jumping on Oprah's couch was crazy. Nope. Tom has levels of crazy we can hardly imagine — the kind of levels only achievable by rising in levels of Scientology.
Word is that he's building a bunker to protect himself from the Bush junta. Wait. No. That's a joint effort of Alec Baldwin and Rosie O'Donnell.
Tom's building a bunker to protect himself from his angry god, Xenu, who has vengeance planned for us all.
Ooooh. He looks scary.
Star magazine says Tom Cruise is planning to build a bunker at his Colorado home to protect his family in the event of an intergalactic alien attack.The report, which has been denied by a rep for Cruise, is being gleefully repeated in Europe, where the “Mission Impossible” actor is filming the World War II movie “Rubicon” in Germany.
The Star says Cruise, who is a dedicated follower of Scientology, worries that deposed galactic ruler “Xenu” is plotting an evil revenge attack on Earth.
The magazine says Cruise is building a $10 million bunker under his Telluride estate that can hold 10 people
Well, Tom will need one of these.
Oh. And probably one of these, just to be extra protected.
But with only room for 10 people ... well, that's not a lot of room. I hope he's thinking carefully about carrying on the human race after Earth endures The Wrath of Xenu. With Katie down there, at least the humans of the next centuries will get off to a cute start. But what about the rest of the room?
Will he have his handlers down there? His makeup artist? An extra hyperbolic chamber for naps? Hitler's brain in a jar? Decisions, decisions ...
The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services has come up with a new 100-question test that immigrants must pass to become Americans.
There's nothing inherently wrong with the test. In fact, I was quite surprised by some of the questions. For instance, it asks the applicant to name one of the authors of the Federalist Papers. I'd wager that fewer than 10 percent of native-born American college graduates could name one. It also asks some basic questions about U.S. geography. Yet it oddly asks to name something that Ben Franklin is "famous for."
At any rate, the test includes 20 questions that have asterisks next to them. These are the only questions that applicants over the age of 64 need to answer. And this is where the trouble comes in.
I think it is fair to say that these are the questions our government bureaucrats think are the most essential to understanding America -- the bare bones of what you should know to be a good American. If that's the case, the "need to know" list is a little disappointing.
When is the last day you can send in your federal income tax forms?
But of course. Uncle Sam wants to make doubly sure his new citizens mark their calendars for Tax Day. How sad.
Others:
What did Martin Luther King, Jr. do?Where is the Statue of Liberty?
What did Susan B. Anthony do?
That's important stuff, for sure. But "Top 20" stuff? The essentials? I think there are more important things about America that a citizen should know from the main test:
That the Constitution is the supreme law of the land.That Congress, and not the president, writes laws.
That the president is the commander in chief of the military.
That some powers belong to the federal government and some to the states.
The reasons we fought the British for independence.
Who is the "Father of Our Country."
Anything about the Civil War.
And, I also don't know quite what to make of test declaring that that "everyone living in the United States" enjoys the rights that are protected in the First Amendment, as well as the Second Amendment. Really? Even non-citizens? Those here on visas? Those here illegally?
The First Amendment, perhaps. But our do our immigration bureaucrats really mean to say that illegals enjoy the Second Amendment right to "keep and bear arms"? To give gangs like the MS-13 a constitutional defense?
Remember this cover by Newsweek? It was only a few weeks ago (the Aug. 13 edition, to be exact)
The gist of the story was that global warming "deniers" were peddling nonsense. The science had been settled, and the only thing keeping the humans-cause-global-warming debate from being over — a day Al Gore so wants to come that he won't debate anyone on the subject — was the support of nefarious, right-wing, Big Oil funding. In fact, to make sure no one missed the point, the headline was: "Global Warming Deniers: A Well-Funded Machine." (Though on the web, it says, "The Truth About Deniers"). From the Newsweek lead:
A conservative think tank long funded by ExxonMobil, she told Boxer, had offered scientists $10,000 to write articles undercutting the new report and the computer-based climate models it is based on. "I realized," says Boxer, "there was a movement behind this that just wasn't giving up."
Well, the global-warming-as-a-substitute-for-religion movement isn't giving up, either and they're spending a lot more than 10 large. The Daddy Warbucks of the left wing, George Soros — the sack of money behind MoveOn.org — is backing a man, James Hansen, that the big media presents to us as a disinterested former NASA scientist, with a pure agenda meant to merely save the world.
From the invaluable work of the editorial page of Investor's Business Daily:
How many people, for instance, know that James Hansen, a man billed as a lonely "NASA whistleblower" standing up to the mighty U.S. government, was really funded by Soros' Open Society Institute , which gave him "legal and media advice"?
How many? None. Not until IBD started doing the digging that Newsweek felt moved to do about "deniers." More from IBD:
That's right, Hansen was packaged for the media by Soros' flagship "philanthropy," by as much as $720,000, most likely under the OSI's "politicization of science" program.That may have meant that Hansen had media flacks help him get on the evening news to push his agenda and lawyers pressuring officials to let him spout his supposedly "censored" spiel for weeks in the name of advancing the global warming agenda.
Hansen even succeeded, with public pressure from his nightly news performances, in forcing NASA to change its media policies to his advantage. Had Hansen's OSI-funding been known, the public might have viewed the whole production differently. The outcome could have been different.
IBD goes on to detail other ways that Soros has harmed America with his (mostly) hidden advocacy. None of this should matter. Undermining one's points by uncovering the funding behind it is the oldest trick in political debate. I've always, generally, rejected that. If I'm a high-profile advocate for the pro-life position, it should surprise no one that I might have pro-life groups on my list of contributors to my cause. Judge my views, or advocacy, on the strength of the argument — and give people the credit to filter "nefarious" funding on their own.
But what makes this Soros/Hansen connection relevant is how the media has not reported it. Newsweek tells us that that scientists who get money from oil companies — in sums that add up to, often, a tiny amount of a total project's funding — are not to be believed when they examine the science and say that man is not chiefly responsible for global warming. No matter how strong or logical their argument, they are not to be believed. They are "deniers," like Iranian "president" AquaVelvaJhad denying the Holocaust.
But the major media is wholly incurious about who funds guys like Hansen. Or where Al Gore gets his money. And they certainly wouldn't spend 5,000 words detailing why those connections invalidate their opinions about still-unsettled science.
Bravo, Investor's Business Daily. You've done a great service.
It's always good sport, though generally an empty exercise, to go after former conservative now moonbat Andrew Sullivan. And in the spirit of my penchant for saying something is hardly worth mentioning — then going on for about 1,000 words — I offer his latest theory on Republican attitudes toward a Hillary presidency. In short, he thinks right-thinking people will love it.
Hillary, you see, revealed on the Sunday shows last week that she is comfortable with a "permanent occupation of Iraq." Which makes sense, since her husband is comfortable with a permanent occupation of Bosnia, and the U.S. seems pretty comfortable with permanent occupations of South Korea, Germany, Okinawa, etc.
The conservative Washington Establishment is swooning for Hillary for a reason. The reason is an accommodation with what they see as the next source of power (surprise!); and the desire to see George W. Bush's invasion and occupation of Iraq legitimated and extended by a Democratic president (genuine surprise). Hillary is Bush's ticket to posterity. On Iraq, she will be his legacy.
Swooning? Please. Terrified, more like it — as any freedom-loving American should be.
But then comes this nutty premise:
They are not that dissimilar after all: both come from royal families, who have divvied up the White House for the past couple of decades. They may oppose one another; but they respect each other as equals in the neo-monarchy that is the current presidency. And so elite conservatives are falling over themselves to embrace a new Queen Hillary, with an empire reaching across Mesopotamia, a recently deposed court just waiting to return to the salons of DC, a consort happy to be co-president for another four years, and a back-channel to the other royal family.
In what universe do conservatives sip wine, eat brie and exchange pleasantries — let alone plot the future of the world together — with the likes of the lefty Hillary crowd? And if Republican court jesters are already enjoying the finest meats and cheeses in Bush's castle, what is there to "return" to?
Then there's the boilerplate paranoia ...
She'll even have more powers than Clinton I, because Cheney has given her back various royal prerogatives: arrests without charges, torture, wire-tapping, and spy-ware on your Expedia account. Only the coronation awaits.
Yeah. It was all Cheney's doing. The Congress, and the courts who review such matters, had nothing to do with it.
Don't get me wrong. I fear what may transpire, domestically, under a Hillary presidency. But since I want to be taken seriously, I refrain from the wacky "Queen Hillary" and "neo-monarchy" talk. We still do elect our presidents here. And if Hillary wins, the people chose her legitimately.
Congrats, fellow primates. We have finally, today, achieved "large mammal" status on Truth Laid Bear's ecosystem.
Handfuls of poo, all around. A toast!!
Ok, perhaps a beer would be more appropriate ...
It appears that attracting inbound links is the key to our upgrade. Keep up the good work (though I have no idea why we have attracted so many inbound links since doing "trackbacks" is essentially banned due to spam). I'm still unclear on how this whole Internets thing works.
Notre Dame is 0-4.
Yep, there is a God.
And he does not find Touchdown Jesus amusing.
Seriously. Enough bad shit cannot happen to this A-hole.
See this and feel the hate.
I remember my first puppy. Sammie was half lab and half Rott and all puppy for the all too short 8 years of her life. They say this about beer, but in all honesty, it is more true about dogs:
Dogs are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Why do I hate Vick? Vick grabs a dog by its back legs and smashes it against a wall. Yet there are people who support him. Remarkable.
I'm with Michael Steele. I love puppies.
And I want to taser Michael Vick.
Asshole.
I need to come up with a list of books for a 13 year old 7th grade girl who is reading at a late high school level. The titles need to be selections that will not be repeated in later grades, so I'm essentially creating an alternative reading list. What should be on it? (No, I'm not going to tell you what's already on the list. That would require me taking time to look several things up. You know me. If I do that, I'll never get back around to finishing this post.)
I'm aiming at age-appropriate more than reading level-appropriate, so stuff you (or someone you trust) read in 8th and 9th grades that really stands out would be good. Fire away! (Snarky reactions to others' suggestions count for bonus points.)
And yet, somehow, the slur seems fitting for Kevin Spacey.
What a tool. Round up The Usual Suspects and bitch slap them senseless. I hope they taser Spacey's ass when he arrives back in the U.S. And I have no idea who "they" are, except they'd better have tasers. And they should tell him he's a miserable tool.
Oh yeah, and "American Beauty" was pretentious shite.
Look, I may be anonymous, but I'm not going to lie to you: I listened to a lot of heavy metal in the 1980s. A lot. And my hearing is not quite as good as it might be because of it. I've seen Iron Maiden in concert, and Spinal Tap, too. And, in retrospect, it was hard to tell the difference between them.
So this list really takes me back. And I do not question the premise in the least. I think, with the exception of horrendous hair bands like Skid Row, it's a pretty good list. But what do I know? Very little, except for the Ten Commandments of Metal, the first of which is Thou shalt bang thy head!
"the man" ain't done with Michael Vick:
Virginia Commonwealth Attorney Gerald Poindexter said Monday night that he will "present a host of bills of indictment" Tuesday to a Surry County grand jury regarding dogfighting at the Virginia property owned by Falcons quarterback Michael Vick.
How cool is that?!
I think I like Coach Mike Gundy of Oklahoma State.
Kenny Mayne of ESPN just introduced this video of Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy "having kittens" as Mayne characterized it. Yep, coach was pissed, and maybe a little over the top, but he stood up for one of his kids, and I don't see that as a bad thing. of course ESPN's one-sided reporting was to be expected because the coach's tirade was directed at some chick reporter. Poor baby.
Go Cowboys!
But will he read this post? Maybe. There is no doubt that he will not link to it, however. Because that would drive traffic this way and that would be wrong.
Lileks wonders about the contemptable Larry David and smoke alarms: "[I]t was a hard-wired smoke alarm. Do they have batteries? I question the premise."
It's a good question. I can tell you, however, that it's possible for hard-wired smoke alarms to have batteries. I have them. They suck.
Of course, hard-wired smoke alarms need batteries. Why? Well, what if the power goes out and there's a fire? That's called the Apocalypse, in which case, you won't be home anyway. So what generally happens is, the batteries die. And the smoke alarm starts to beep. And beep. And beep. Loudly. And, invariably, you have high ceilings and you have to drag the big ladder in from the garage at 3 a.m. But what happens if you're all out of 9-volt batteries? Then what do you do?
Incredibly, the damned things continue to beep. Without the batteries, I mean. And after you rip them out of the ceiling that's 12 feet high. They still beep. They. Do. Not. Shut. Up.
So Larry David is right. When the hard-wired smoke alarms, you have no choice but to move. Evidently there's more to it than that, but I haven't watched "Curb Your Enthusiasm" in a number of years. But the premise is sound. Believe me. I know.
Oh crap, they are on to us.
Regroup on channel 6.
One of the premier colleges in the country, Columbia University, seems to be standing by their invitation to Holocaust denier, terrorist enabler, and, well, terrorist, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran to speak at the august institution, yet to this day Columbia bans the ROTC from campus.
Terrorists? Yes.
The American Military? No
"Jack Dunphy" (the "nom de plume" of a police officer with the Los Angeles Police Department) concludes today that the Florida cops did the right thing with Taser Boy.
And here is where Meyer gives the officers no other option. He breaks free again, shouting, “Get away from me, man!” The officers were now suddenly faced with the prospect of lunatic running loose in the theater while Senator Kerry continued to blather up on the stage. Imagine if Meyer had not been the obnoxious, self-absorbed publicity seeker we now know him to be, but rather someone bent on doing physical harm to Kerry. No police officer worthy of the title would have done anything other than what those cops did, which is put Meyer on the floor in a hurry.
Once on the floor, Meyer continued to resist the officers’ efforts to restrain him. They were able to put a handcuff on one of his wrists but not the other, creating a potentially dangerous situation. If Meyer had been able to get to his feet and flail his arms has he had earlier, the dangling handcuff could have caused serious injury to the officers or any of the spectators nearby. The officers can be heard on the tape warning Meyer that they would use the Taser on him if he continued resisting, but to no avail. Meyer heard the warnings and ignored them, inviting what happened next. They zapped him once, the 50,000-volt charge draining the vinegar right out of him. Meyer was then trundled off and booked for resisting an officer with violence, and for disrupting the function of an educational institution.
Or maybe they should'a just punched him out or Rdoney King-ed his butt?
There was an easy solution for Taser Boy here. Don't be a publicity seeking punk and when the cops tell you to stop being an a**hole, STOP BEING AN A**HOLE.
Gee, that was easy.
O.J. Simpson might go down in history as the only man to have two trials of the century in two centuries. And I for one couldn't be happier. I only wish Johnnie Cochran could be here.
But what if he could be?
Reporter: Mr. Cochran, what is your legal strategy to get O.J. off this time?
Zombie Johnnie Cochran: Obviously, we intend to show that Mr. Simpson was set up by the racist Las Vegas Police Department. And if that doesn't work, I plan to eat the prosecutor's brain...
By now, you may have seen the video by the University of Florida joker who commandeered the microphone at John Kerry's sparsely attended event on campus the other day. I say "by," because it is obvious that Andrew Meyer — who fancies himself a YouTube comedian — had cameras planted for his latest stunt.
If you haven't seen it, take a look:
As a reader of Jonah on The Corner pointed out, this is a dead-on lift of a classic scene from Monty Python's "Holy Grail." (Seriously, watch it. Laugh and agree). Moving on ...
The guy is a Class-A sissy, wailing and carrying on like I do when I feel a bug sneak up on me and touch my skin. And now we learn, after all that drama, that the kid admitted told the cops, that they "didn't do anything wrong." And, indeed, it was all for show:
In the 12-page report, which gives accounts of the incident from the perspective of eight different officers who were present Monday afternoon, Officer Nicole Mallo writes that Meyer would only resist officers when cameras were present."As (Meyer) was escorted down stairs (at the University Auditorium) with no cameras in sight, he remained quiet, but once the cameras made their way down stairs he started screaming and yelling again," Mallo wrote.
Mallo was one of two officers who actually rode in the vehicle as Meyer was escorted to the Alachua County jail, and she said said he told them during the ride: "I am not mad at you guys, you didn't do anything wrong, you were just trying to do your job," according to Mallo's account.
Mallo also wrote in her report that he asked, at one point, if cameras would be present at the jail.
Huh. Taser him again, "bro." Just for being a tool.
In Great Britain, physicians are allowed to refuse surgery to patients if they smoke. John Nuttall gets daily does of morphine for his broken ankle, but no surgery. Because he smokes.
"The bones have all calcified now - it's probably too late for surgery - but I want other smokers in my age group to know that we are being denied medical treatment and there's nothing we can do.
"We were brought up in a time when cigarette ads were everywhere. There were no warnings. We've paid our 'stamp' all our lives and now we're being shut out of the NHS."
Yes. Listen to Michael Moore, Hillary and the Breck Girl. You want the government running your health care.
And courtesy of Rush, a woman in Texas was fired because her clothing had the odor of cigarette smoke.
Yeah, I suppose the cigarette smell could have aggravated the kid's allergies, but it just struck me as a little harsh and unforgiving that she was summarily dismissed via a voicemail.
This column hardly warrants comment. The Daily Mail of London columnist is such a loony lefty that I fear only the pinky on her (or his) port-side arm has movement. But it gets my attention for the sheer relentlessness of delusion: It's a perfect storm of nut-wingery, every paragraph more ridiculous than the next.
The lead (even though I'm a journalist, I refuse to use the pretentious "inside" spelling of "lede" ... or "graf," for that matter):
For George W Bush's proclaimed "global war on terror", this has been a week to remember - but also a week that should make us challenge the basic assumptions behind this so-called "war".
Yes. A "proclaimed" war, that, if I remember my history right, the jihadists proclaimed on us long before 9/11. And if people kill each other, and lefty nut-jobs don't like it, is it still a "war"? I didn't get the memo.
Last Tuesday, the world commemorated the sixth anniversary of 9/11, when the ultimate totems of America's capitalist pride, the 110-storey Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre, were attacked by Al Qaeda terrorists using hijacked airliners as guided missiles, and then, with the world watching on TV, collapsed one by one like broken Lego.It was this stunning event which goaded President Bush into declaring his "global war on terror".
I dunno. The slaughter of 3,000 Americans (and, let's not forget, that only the actions of New York's bravest and finest -- and the early timing of the attacks -- kept the death toll from rising well above 10,000) might "goad" many peoples to war. Nations have gone to battle over much, much less. And I suppose we had it coming. You know. With that "capitalist pride" that has fed a global economic engine that has improved the lives of, well, the entire planet.
... for Bush to declare "war" on Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda was actually to exaggerate their importance - and glorify their actions. Worse, it was his declaration of "war" that led in 2001 to the invasion and occupation of Afghanistan and, in 2003, to the invasion and occupation of Iraq.
Oh, I think those screams of "Allahu Akbar" did lots of "glorifying" on their own, at least in the minds of the jihadists. And are we occupying Afghanistan? I suppose in the same manner we "occupy" South Korea, or Bosnia, or Okinawa. Ask the Afghanis if they got a good deal or not. The choice between G.I. Joe and Tommy Taliban is not a hard one for any sane person.
... Petraeus asserted that the new offensive against Iraqi insurgents (now all conveniently dubbed "Al Qaeda") is going well, even if the insurgents may well have simply shifted out of the way of his 168,000 Darth Vader-style storm troops.
Yes. It was darn convenient for the al-Qaida guys to label themselves al-Qaida in Iraq. Also convenient for Bush that the first leader of that rag-tag group of misunderstood goat herders to have trained in an al-Qaida camp, and to have corresponded regularly with the home office with his official al-Qaida stationary. No doubt that Vader's guys had cool outfits, but that would make them stand out in a crowd. I prefer the duds of the U.S. military. All the better to kill more otherwise peaceful goat herders. And, boy! I love that turn of phrase, "shifted out of the way." I will now interchange that with "takes a dirt nap" and "kept his engagement with the 72 virgins." Brilliant.
When the Taliban regime refused to surrender Osama Bin Laden or shut his Al Qaeda training camps, Bush and Co decided that the only answer was to topple the Taliban, take over the country and convert its tribes and warlords to democracy.
But, ma'am. Those were such meager requests. At any rate, ask the women of Afghanistan -- you know, the ones who were stoned for going to school -- if they chafe under the forced "conversion" to democracy. (What is it, with these lefties? They have an enduring fetish with despots, calling them the "true" voice of the people. Castro, Chavez, the old Soviet Union ... ) Gotta hand it to this writer, though. He/she has got to be one of the last people on earth -- or at least writing for a major Western publication -- still arguing that the liberation of Afghanistan was wrong. American Democrats gave that up about 15 minutes ago (most of them, anyway).
This sixth anniversary of 9/11 has also been commemorated by Osama Bin Laden himself, popping up on a new video in order to praise the "martyrs" who carried out the attack, and to call on America and the West to convert to Islam.
Wow! Finally a non-snarky, non-judgmental passage! And it comes with the subtle suggestion that, well, if we all just submitted to the Sharia Law as set down by Allah, everything would be peachy. No sale. Send in the bombers.
And now, at long last, we get to the crux of the matter ...
Remember, Bush and his vicepresident Dick Cheney are fundamentalist Christians, while Bush's own political base lies in his fellow fundamentalists of the American 'Bible belt'. And tragically for Britain, Tony Blair passionately shared Bush's belief that world policy must be inspired by religious faith.The grim truth is that when George W. Bush declared "a global war on terror", he was really announcing a jihad of his own - a struggle to convert the whole world to American-style capitalist democracy.
Yes. And what a difficult choice that is. Putting aside the ass-hattery it takes to equate imposing the caliphate by the sword and, well, opening up a McDonalds in Paris and ... well, there's nowhere else to go with this, now is there?
These radical lefties just can't be dealt with. And it is pointless to note to these bleeding-heart suicide-pacters that they would be first in line for a crude head extraction operation if the jihadists have their way.
But the whole point, really, of highlighting this column is to share the picture that went with it:
How precious. I can see the evil beneath his eyelids. Can't you? Look closely ...
Read this insane column to the end, if you have a strong stomach and a sense of humor.
The New York Times now denies that they gave MoveOn.org a discounted rate for their ad. I don't buy it.
Mathis confirmed the open rate for an ad of that size and type was around $181,000. Among reasons for lower rates are advertisers buying in bulk or taking a standby rate, she said.
I've been in the newspaper business my entire professional life. I have never worked in advertising, so I can't say for certainty what a "standby rate" is. But common sense suggests that you can get a discounted rate for a full-page ad if you don't care when the ad runs. You sit on "standby." And if the ad people can't sell a full-page ad, then you get that slot. It's hit and miss. You could wait days or weeks, I'd imagine. But you have no control over when the ad runs.
It is odd, then, that MoveOn's ad referred to the testimony Gen. Petraeus would give "today" when they ran the ad on Monday. That's an inconvenient coincidence for The New York Times spinners.
The only reasonable explanation that doesn't expose The New York Times as co-conspirators with the ad is that MoveOn has bought full-page spreads from The New York Times in bulk. With George Soros backing them, they certainly have the money. But I have my doubts.
I find it hard to believe that MoveOn has a standing account with the Times so it can drop one whenever the mood strikes them. Full-page bulk sales go to huge stores, such as Macy's, that incorporate such expenses in their budgets — and the cost must be at least $1 million. I doubt even Soros would front that kind of coin for whenever MoveOn wants to get its wacky Jones off in the biggest way.
I certainly hope my buddy Charlie doesn't "move on" from this story until he gets to the bottom of it. Methinks he won't.
What's the matter? Did billionaire George Soros, the money bags behind MoveOn.org, have a bad day on the stock market or something? My old friend and former Washington Times colleague Charlie Hurt reports in today's New York Post that The New York Times gave MoveOn.org a tidy 60 percent discount on the full-page ad it ran to slander Gen. Petraeus and our troops.
Normally, a full-page ad in the most important and powerful newspaper in the world costs $181,692. MoveOn paid $65,000 for it. Nah, no liberal bias at the Times. If my old employer, The Washington Times, gave a 60 percent discount to, say, the Swift Boaters to run a full-page ad running down John Kerry ... well, people might think the newspaper had a right-wing, anti-Democrat bias.
Citing the shared liberal bent of the group and the Times, one Republican aide on Capitol Hill speculated that it was the "family discount.""I'm surprised they had to pay anything at all for the ad," the GOP staffer said. "They could have just asked the editorial page to run it and it wouldn't have cost them a cent."
I'm surprised, too. But the NY Times' editorial page also helped by running an editorial the Sunday before Petraeaus' testimony that basically called him a liar -- though they used slightly more artful language.
A once-great newspaper continues to spiral downward into irrelevance.
Sometimes a man has to take a stand.
While others fret in cowed silence, afraid to raise their voice in defense of the oppressed, a few resolute men will take the bold, manly course.
Chris Crocker is one of those rare breed of men. His language may be harsh, but he speaks the Truth.
(Hat tip: F-Rock.)
As this 9/11 anniversary comes to a close, I had to post about something I just saw in the issue of "Atlantic Monthly" I received today. It's one of the most audacious and despicable lies I've ever seen, by a man who really can only break his own records in this regard:
Bill Clinton, on the responsibility for 9/11: We prevented an enormous number of attacks. The Republicans, let me remind you, when I tried to get Osama bin Laden, based on good intelligence, they accused me of "wag the dog" and they made fun of me, and they said we shouldn't be doing anything about this.
For an ear infection and sinus infection, in addition to antibiotics, I've been prescribed Prednisone, a corticosteroid, for inflammation. I asked the doc if I could go on the regular morning group ride in two days. Get this, he said I could "play it by ear."
Think I'm obligated to skip the Cat 4 state championship road race next month, or should I play that by ear too? (Chances of me placing in the top 10: less than zero, no matter how powerful the prescription, unless God is WAY more ironic than I would have guessed.)
We're supposed to be commemorating 9/11 this week, and I might have something to say about the sixth anniversary of that day. But I haven't been much interested in politics or war these past few days. Instead, I offer a bit of art. I bookmarked 365 Portraits a couple of months ago on the recommendation of a friend. It's a fascinating site. I recommend spending time exploring the images, which include delightful people you've never heard of and Buzz Aldrin.
Not being a parent, I can't pass judgment, but this just does not sound like a good idea.
. . . to the show that never ends.
Dr. Pepper?
Oh for crying out loud.
Not only is the Venice Film Festival chock full of anti-war/anti-American crap, but even worse news is afoot. Oliver Stone has a protege in crackpottery.
No one polarizes moviegoers quite like Oliver Stone. But he may have found a true kindred spirit in Mikko Alanne, the 34-year-old screenwriter of Stone's next war drama, "Pinkville," about the investigation into one of the darkest moments in the Vietnam War: the slaughter of Vietnamese civilians at My Lai by American soldiers in 1968.As a teenager in Finland, Alanne was already a history junkie when he had his filmmaking fires stoked in a Helsinki theater by Stone's controversial "JFK."
"It really reshaped my thinking about what kind of films could be made and what they could do," Alanne says. "The whole idea that you could, through film, illuminate a hidden side of history and uncover the forgotten heroes and villains of the story -- that hooked me. I entered film school as a very serious political filmmaker."
Ay Carumba! One shudders to think of the result after these two "kindred spirit" nut-jobs get done "illuminating a hidden side of history" in regards to May Lai.
How could I after reading this insipid top 10 list of South Park episodes? Where is "Scott Tenorman Must Die"? Where is "Awesome-O"? Where is "Krazy Kripples"? Ha ha, charade you are, John Hawkins!
If I had my way, I'd be serving Hawkins his parents in chili and tasting tears of unfathomable sorrow...
...but Larry Craig sure is indecisive.
If I wasn't bored with the story already, I'd urge Craig to resign and renege for the next six weeks. As it is, I just wish the sad old bastard would shut up, pack up and troll Boise's bars in blissful anonymity. It's over, Senator. Now begone. You've entertained us enough.
In the most unsurprising political news of the day, Bill Clinton tells David Letterman that he won't be his wife's running mate.
Not only is a that a dubious Constitutional move, despite the dreams of the Washington Post and the left. It would be a step down from what would surely be "Co-Presidency, Part II."
It is hard to imagine Hillary picking anything more than a figure-head/token vice presidential running mate. Hell, she probably thought Bill shared power with her, not the other way around, the last time.
It's funny because it's true.
The Democratic candidates for president are nothing if not master planners of our lives. For our own good, of course.
John Edwards announced, just in time for Labor Day, that one of the labors that citizens of his Two Americas United Into One America Under Government must undertake are trips to the doctor. Unlike in today's oppressive HMO system, EdwardsCare would require Americans to head to the doctors office for preventative care.
"It requires that everybody be covered. It requires that everybody get preventive care," he told a crowd sitting in lawn chairs in front of the Cedar County Courthouse. "If you are going to be in the system, you can't choose not to go to the doctor for 20 years. You have to go in and be checked and make sure that you are OK."
Nothing wrong with heading to the doctor to make sure all the pipes are clean and you don't got the HIV or the scurvy. But in the interest of freedom, it should be a personal choice. Imagine the scenario. You get a letter from the Department of Health and Human Serivices ...
Dear Mr. Monkey,We've checked our records and have noticed that you have not yet visited your local neighborhood government-sanctioned physician. As you can see by checking form A38Hj6-987i, you are among those scheduled to visit your physician in May.
As noted in the workbooks and pamphlets at your local health-maintenance office, the longer you wait in your target month, the longer the wait will be to make sure you're not dying from some dread disease.
Be clear that your failure to show will warrant a ticket, and a fine of $20 a day for noncompliance. So show your patriotism! Call 1-800-HEAL-ME2 right away — and be sure to schedule enough time (7-9 hours should suffice) to guarantee prompt and competent service.
Sincerely,
Nurse Edwards
Will the Health Services in Edwards' America issue you a sticker that you have to wear on your shirt that says: "I got my checkup!" Egads, this is a bad idea.
Of course the more serious economic argument here is that the more people use health care plans, the more they cost. And making everyone go to the doctor, even when they are in good health, only adds to the tax burden we'd all share under Edwards' plan.
So, who will be the first to accuse Edwards of offering a sop to the health care industry? Ok. I'll be the first.
The way to make health care more affordable is to have people use it less, not more. A lot of that does involve going to the doctor before an illness gets more expensive to treat. But I find it hard to imagine Edwards' scheme as anything more than excuses for doctors to charge the government for unnecessary tests.
"The whole idea is a continuum of care, basically from birth to death," he said.
Hmmmm. I suppose "cradle to the grave" didn't poll well with the focus groups. Expect Republicans to use it, though.
Dennis Prager is broadcasting his annual Labor Day program, quizzing people what they do for a living. It's astonishing and edifying to hear the jobs people do. Say what you will about our over-regulated economy, but Americans find a way to pursue their own course in what remains one of the most innovative economies on earth. It almost makes me wish I'd learned a useful trade. Almost.
Instead of dwelling on "what ifs" today, I will celebrate the working man's national holiday by straining California's power grid and using major appliances during peak hours. I've got about 12 loads of laundry to do, and they aren't going to wash and dry themselves...
My favorite comic strip — actually the only one I read with regularity other than Family Circus (I consider Jeffy the greatest social critic of our times) — is Darby Conley's "Get Fuzzy."
The latest storyline involves Bucky Katt's hatred of monkeys.
This was from a few days ago. Click the link above to see more.
I note this, from The Corner, mainly because I'm reading Rick Brookhiser's book on Gouverneur Morris (a wonderful gift from H.L. Monkey).
Gouverneur Morris, draftsman of the Constitution, had sex in carriages, parlors, and the waiting room of a convent while he lived in Paris, but not so far as I know in a privy. In his defense, his partner was not an anonymous pickup, but a woman he would be in love with for almost a decade. Not in his defense, she was married, and also had a boyfriend (the father of her son).When they first met, he wrote in his diary that she did not seem to be an "enemy to intrigue." He did not record whether or not she tapped her foot.
Further proof that everything in American political life can be rounded back to the Founders.
When justice is served, I'm sure it tastes better than steamed crap.
A Superior Court judge in North Carolina sentenced disgraced former Durham County DA Mike Nifong to a day in jail. That's a pretty short sentence, but at least he's spending more time in jail than Nicole Ritchie.
And, for once, an AP lead that I like:
DURHAM, N.C. (AP) - From the day he took over the Duke lacrosse rape case, Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong charged forward with a strident determination that the guilty would end up in jail. Ultimately, the since-disgraced former prosecutor only succeeded at putting himself behind bars.
Just 24 hours seems awfully lenient. But it's something.
You know, I've been getting a daily helping of steamed crap at the office for the past month or so, and once you choke down the first couple of bites, it isn't so bad.
Steamed carp, on the other hand, doesn't sound so appetizing.
